Are you lonely?
Have you ever wanted some lady named Olga to make you her grandma's borscht recipe?
Do you enjoy vigorous arm wrestling but have no one to compete with?
Me neither,
Maybe you want to reenact 1/32 scale version of the cold war with someone?
"Hey girl, tear down this wall."
No, probably not.
Maybe you've never wanted to marry anyone, or you aren't that into Russian women.
Maybe you're like me, and just really into boxes.
Mmmmmmm boxes.
Spoiler Alert: The current Russian Mail Order Bride system is false advertising. No Russian girl is going to come over in a box any more. I guess Russia is too good for that now.
"Oh look at me, I'm fancy and ride in planes. I'm too good to come over in a wooden box and get covered in urine and feces along the way."
Well, let me tell you something, Olga. Your great aunt Katya didn't get over here in some cushy plane with wings. No. She came to Amerika in a rugged wooden box. A box where Russian women were stacked on top of each other looking like it was the Kremlin’s version of the mother fucking Trojan Horse. Dashas were stacked on Polinas and the people of the village called it the “Leningrad Amistad”.
They didn't get the pleasure of the 1980's treatment either. No one was there at the port to see them off and sliding packs of Bologna through the glory hole of the crates for the long voyage. When the yardmen in Amerika pried the boxes of these noble ladies open, they didn't just lock eyes with a man they'd divorce a week later. No, they worked for him.
They stuck it out on the streets and made a side income sending back Adidas tracksuits to all of the Gopniks back in the motherland.
There was no sitting in some fancy chair on a plane sipping down some watered down appletini.
No these bitches were floating across, in a big piece of wood.
No splinters, just a beautiful, smooth box.
Oh, girl, you got extra postage in all the right places, kind of box.
Damn look at that, a perfectly legible return address. How responsible and respectful is that?
What I wouldn’t give to go back to those days.
If you enjoyed this poorly written pile of words, firstly sucks to be you. That means you’re a little fucked in the head like us. We’re working on creating a chill, non-ass-licking community, heavily focused on fun engagement with weekly challenges. I’m going to drop a link here that will allow five people to enter our discord. If you don’t happen to get in, don’t worry. There will be more chances to join in the future. https://discord.gg/7stgjUF
