To those who follow read my posts, as you may know I have been depressed lately, lost the will to post and even attempted suicide. I have been trying my best to bounce back on my own two feet and it has been hard. I realized that I can't leave everything to my self and have all these emotions and thoughts pent up in one place. My family and friends had walked with me all through out my journey and they have helped me a lot in trying to get back up.
Before everything I always thought of myself as a leader and I knew the fundamentals of being one. I help, share, lead and learn from people no matter their race, size, gender, color and history. You always have something to contribute and to learn from and I thought this is what it took to be a leader, I have learned through the people around me that courage is the biggest factor that you will need to be one. You need to persevere in the time of need, when it feels like all hope is gone and when you just feel like quitting. If you can do this while staying positive without giving up and constantly helping people through the hardships then I can guarantee you will be a great Leader.
I have been neutral ever since I got back to work, I wasn't happy but I wasn't sad as well. It felt like I was in a gray world - same routine everyday and no motivation. I was trying my best to pull my weight but somehow I couldn't. Yesterday, I approached my supervisor to grab him and let him take a 'kudos call'for me, meaning my customer wanted to give his thanks directly to someone who can realize my value and possible reward my efforts. He took the call and I walked off to get some water, by the time I got back my supervisor put my status as in a meeting and called me to have a talk at his station. I wasn't really expecting anything from this since kudos calls were the norm for me, I get them at least 2-3 per week.
Supervisor: How are you Krvin, are you doing well and do you have any concerns you'd like to share with me?
Me: I good, I'm slowly getting to where I was during the time when I received multiple achievement recognitions.
Supervisor: Well that is great! You know I can notice a big difference from how you were before your depression and now. I feel that you have an aura, you are confident and responsible.
Me: (shocked since I didn't see any difference myself, I felt the same) Really?
Supervisor: Yes Krvin and I can show you. I'd like you to listen to your calls previously and lets compare it to how your calls are doing right now.
Me: Okay lets do it.
(after listening)
Supervisor: You see Krvin? You are like a different person than before, you speak with eagerness to help your caller and the way you deliver the information whether good or bad is just amazing. Your customer feels assured and they always look at the bright side and stay positive.
Me: I didn't really notice that, I feel rewarded already by just this.
Supervisor: And what more is that you are getting back your kudos, if you notice when you were depressed you couldn't get even 1 kudos in 1 month. You used to joke about the kudos calls you get and that there was a quota for you. You employ power when you explain your solution and you try to go the extra mile on every call just like those joking times where you we just extraordinary!
Me: (I couldn't help but smile and rejoice about what I just heard) Wow, I guess what I'm doing must be working. (suddenly I spoke without thinking) I'd like to go back and help some more if we are done now, I can't help but feel happy and I'd like to share some of it with fellow people who are having problems right now.
Supervisor: Okay that's the spirit! That's all I need from you now. Good luck!
