What can we learn from being betrayed? First, let's look at the word betray. It is a word that is quite heavy. Just even saying, he betrayed me, she betrayed me, shows the heaviness of it. Now, if you put it slightly differently, it actually loses some of its heaviness. Putting it slightly differently, it could sound like, "He/She is a human being and manifested a behavior that corresponded to his/her level of conciousness at the time."
Where is the betrayal? It dissapeared. So, that makes it easier on you to deal with it than to impose a huge narrative or judgement on another person and involve you in this dreadful act of which you become apart of. The act of betrayal.
Yes, of course you suffered. We all suffer. We all encounter ones that make us suffer because many humans, most of them, are unconscious and are not always on the same level. That is very interesting that humans can be in enormously varying levels of conciousness according to the situations they find themselves in.
There are some humans who have the potential of committing a crime, but circumstances never put them in a position where their potential becomes actuality. Then it could happen that other humans encounter a situation that is very challenging. It brings out the worst accumulation within them. They come to the surface and turn into these monsters. So before you may have known a completely different person (a different level of conciousness).
One example could be a sexual encounter because that act of betrayal is not unlikely. That area has the kind of attraction that can make people very unconscious. That's the unfortunate thing with human beings. They're not fully enlightened. Then you'll sit there and say, "I trusted him/her. They promised me when we got married that they would be faithful and I trusted them! I'm sure when he/she promised me, they meant it, but years passed and they're gone." Now to forgive them is only something you do for yourself unless you free yourself from the burden of having to live with a narrative story of betrayal and be part of that and be part of your sense of identity. This is very painful, but seductive.
Part of your ego identity then is, "I am the one who has been betrayed." That's a dreadful burden to carry in your sense of self. If you believe in the story your mind created, the act of betrayal, you're setting yourself up for an enormous amount of suffering because that story will become part of your sense of self. If that's the case, it will influence and color the way in which from now on you relate to others, men or women. You have to be careful and see what you are doing to yourself by creating these stories. On the convential level they are true. You can say he/she betrayed me, the convential way of using language, but it's not the real truth.
Something to remember
It is a wonderful thing to question everything the mind produces because otherwise you might be tempted to believe every thought that comes into your head. Eventually the person is able to dis-identify themself from the thought and become free of being trapped by this thought. This only really means their conciousness is trapped by this thought.
Be Careful with the stories your mind creates. Sometimes if you rephrase the story, it suddenly does not cling to you anymore. It is no longer apart of your identity-your painful sense of self. You want to be free of that.
Unfortunately, you have to forgive him/her. Sorry, but this is part of it. That is the part when you realize yes, they were unconscious. Forgiveness comes and that's fine. Maybe you won't start all over again, maybe you will, but probably not. I say that because unless a shift has happened in them, the same may happen again.
Bottom line - Don't believe every story your mind creates and let it become your sense of self.
馃挅Stay amazing you beautiful beings of love and light! Keep smiling & shine bright 馃挅
With love to all of you always,
Kristan 馃挒