Enough With Your Rotten Hedge and Bushy Hedge Trimmer
Dear Mr Davis,
I have always felt annoyed living near to you. You are the most sharp neighbour a person could ever meet.
Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.
I'm afraid I can no longer stand your barking dog.
I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your hedge is too rotten and your hedge trimmer way too bushy. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a hammer
I have to insist that you take action to stop your barking dog from upsetting me. I demand that you take the fence down then train the dog.
And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your broken fence increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a happy neighbourhood like Daffidol Meadow.
If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the fire brigade and post photos of your barking dog on Facebook.
Furthermore, I have close ties with the mob and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.
Thanks
kpd