"Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that."
Bill Shankly
Mr. Shankly was right with every single letter of this famous quote. From what i remember about my first days in football field around my primary school was my dad and a ball.
First hit on the wall that stands there today, after all hits it received was probably sloppy, but hit after hit i started to love it and to feel it like it is something special. My mom and dad brought me to my first training session and my first coach wanted to sign me for the team almost the same second i first hit the ball.
My first game was on the field on which i would play many years later defending the colours of the NK HAŠK( FC Croatian Academic Sports Club). From the beggining until today when i play with my friends i was always very competitive and i was always so anxious when the game was getting near. That drive helped me through my life on other fields outside football.
My first goal came after few games and it was against club i mentioned above. The joy and feeling i felt that second is unexpleinable. It was heart melting feeling for me, everyone hugged me, everyone smiled and i liked that feeling that i was the reason, not because ego but because i always wanted to make people happy.
Then, after few years and many great games, at 16 years old i got my first challenge and first quest in biggest club in my country, called Dinamo Zagreb. Greater expectations, better players, harder trainings made me better and better every day under the spotlights of beautiful football field, from day to day, from training to training. Those times were first that feelings like dreaming about greatest football stadiums with me on field crossed my mind every night before i went to sleep. In that time morning alarms were my worst enemies because they meant i have to get back to earth and reality and go to school(which was unbearable cause butterflies in my stomach when i thought about my afternoon training.
Even in school i couldnt have sharp mind for subjects we learned about, instead i was drawing football fields with lineups off my best players or colouring some amblems or football shirts in every club and country i could think of. Days and days passed and my dreams got real in some ways.. After i left biggest club in country i got a step near the gates of proffesionalism. I went to second league and i got the key for those gates, almost feeling the smell of fresh grass waiting my boots to step on it. First year i played for junior squad and i was on the radar of first team coach. My passion went into heavens when i got my first call-up for the first time with all the big guys. First few minutes i was standing there asking myself will i be myself or will i stand there waiting to be crashed by football veterans who played for many years in great clubs on highest level. Of course like always i decided to be myself and i amazed everyone. When i rewind my mind to that days i know that was like that because i was not affraid and i was PLAYING. I bolded that one because today football is circus in the way about finances, everybody just play for money, and there are just few players on highest level who are like protected species in football world.
After that start from dreams i started to make money and i can say that it is the most precious thing in the world if you can get a job that you love and live from it. Many of people i got to know on my football journey through the years went on bad course and never got back. I learned that upbringing in your childhood means a lot beacuse you are taught good manners from your parents and you learn to appreciate every single coin you earn. That helps you later in your life when you start your own family where you have to be a finished person to fulfill everyday tasks and rise to any challenge life gives you.
After three great years i went abroad and my career went downwards. Reasons can be many but mine was, at least i think it was my drive because i started to enjoy football to much and i wasnt hungry to be egoist and to look just about myself. I really dont regret that because everything that happened then got me here where i am now..from other things sharing these thoughts with you. Then i started to overthink about everything and that just got me anxious(i will say more about that in one of my next stories) and sad, and made me want to just disappear and finish my carrer before i go straight into the hell of depression. As follows..i started dreaming about other things that could made me happy and when i turned around every dream about being in great clubs and playing on highest level just crashed like the tower of cards.
But life goes on and you should never regret things that in some part of your life made you happy and got a smile on your face. I personally dont regret any moment i had in those wonderful times of my life. Its funny to say(my fiancee would probably kill me for what i am about to say :) ) that football was my first true love, and it will last forever because everyday i think about it and i can be happy that i didnt have some bad injuries that would made me handicapped or something like that. Life goes on and im sure you all have that one special love that get that warm feeling in your body when you see anything refering to that. I get that feeling even today and almost every day.Dont stop chasing your dreams because you can always chase some other dreams that leads you to new things and one day a happy family life or antything you desire.
And for the and if Albus Dumbledore ask me about football : " After all these time?", i would turn around, show him my jersey number 10 and instead of my name it would say "Always".
I hope you will enjoy my story and i hope you will get back when i write a new story.
Good luck to everyone :)
