Sometimes the universe has a tendency to take the momentum I've generated in regards to development and business building and throws a massive sickly curve ball at it to try and knock the wind out of my sails. Over the past 3 weeks or so I've been laid up in bed mostly trying to regain my health. Seems that I'd run myself into the ground health wise in the prior months and ended up agitating my resident feet demons. The same sickness that put me on IV antibiotics a few years back was trying to rear its ugly head, with my feet effectively turning into an infected red hot burning mass of flesh. A combination of excessive time spent sedentary in front of the computer, less than optimal diet and large stress load caused by spreading myself thinner than I would like in regards to the HIVE based businesses I'm trying to create and/or keep running.

Delays, Dysphoria and Disease

While I try my best to stay healthy, focused and productive it's come to my attention that I've developed a cyclical pattern of over exerting myself for periods of time while focused on development which leads to self neglect causing health issues. In some demented form of self fulfilling prophecy I'm inclined to work myself into a position where my health declines to the point I'm no longer able to focus on what I need to be focusing on.

I love building here on HIVE through coding, but I don't like the way that I've normalized running myself into the ground trying to push things out under timelines that at first glance seem realistic but upon getting into the "thick of the shit" cause me to panic and burn myself out mentally and health wise. I've probably got some underlying health issues such as deep vein thrombosis and/or a systemic candida infection that causes these crashes in my health and once the hospitals slow down a bit here locally with the COVID horseshit I'm going to go get bloodwork and a physical done to see if the underlying root cause (besides poor diet and poor lifestyle choices) can be dealt with.

I'm tired of getting sick when I try to put in above average work hours for more than a few weeks at a time. It is embarrassing to have delays in production of services and businesses I'm working on creating due to my health starting to fail when I need it the most.

Fixing Problems Stemming From Within

Could sit here all day listing reasons why my health is in decline after abusing my body and mind pulling long hours.. but frankly the true root of the health issues I've been experiencing is my own patterns of living ad I'm acutely aware of this now. While the underlying health issues caused by infection likely need some heavy duty antibiotics to truly be defeated.. it seems that eating properly, taking breaks every hour to get up and stretch my legs to help improve circulation and being aware that my energy supplies and health are not infinite are helping.

Behind schedule on basically everything, and for that I apologize. Hopefully in this next week or so I can begin to muster more productive hours than I am currently able to put forward.

Being sick fucking sucks, but I'm almost certain I've figured out the cause of it now.. So it's jut a matter of limping myself along until I can get in for a physical and bloodwork to confirm my suspicions and then hopefully move on to some IV antifungals and antibiotics to mop up whatever the hell seems to be trying to take my feet and health from me.