Hello steemians, I trust y’all are hale and hearty. I’ve been busy lately, I’m sorry about not being able to post anything for some time, but I’m back now. Fully!.
Of course, during my resting period from steemit, I’ve opened my mind to a lot of things that have been happening around me and within me. As a love doctor, what I like to think of myself, I’ve been listening to a lot of relationships stories and sexual experiences and so on and I thought to share this particular subject with you.
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RELATIONSHIPS WITHOUT SEX.
Is this even possible these days? To have a girlfriend or boyfriend for a period of time and not have sex? It would seem quite strange and funny to hear about a relationship without sex, and your mind will be directed to think maybe one of them is cheating. You might even conclude it’s not a serious relationship as serious relationships involve sex and others likewise.
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Asides from that, the truth is, some people are somewhat clueless to what the depth of a relationship means, and think having frequent sex is the only way they can keep the connection and keep the fire burning. Is this really true?
I’ve also observed that the reason most people indulge in sex in their relationships is because;
I THINK THE MAIN AIM OF SEX( in romantic), ASIDES FROM GAINING PHYSICAL PLEASURE, IS TO ATTAIN SOME SORT OF INTIMACY.
Do you know that it’s possible to have sex, without building any form of intimacy? If you think having sex will grant intimacy all the time, then welcome to the bitter truth.
Do you know that you can build intimacy without sex? yes, It’s possible, based on how you and your partner connect.
INTIMACY WITHOUT SEX.
Intimacy is a very important part of any and every relationship and determines how far you go. It’s about closeness, being together and maintaining an already formed bond, without any sexual intercourse; meaning it goes beyond sexual intercourse. Even expressing yourselves in sensual ways (holding hands in public and public display of affection) can build intimacy. Like for me, there are times when my boyfriend pecks my cheek when he’s leaving me to my friends.
Let me make my relationship a bit of an example. The first time we dated, we didn’t even kiss till like the tenth month, yet before then he would take me out, hold my hands and we would play pillow fights and bite fights and watch movies together and have so much fun. He took me pretty serious so he wasn’t rushing into anything sexual or even suggesting it. We broke up and he came back again. He says I’m different every time because I’m not boring, he falls in love every time and no sex is involved. We talk, about every single thing we do, or have done or will do. We share secrets and laugh at people and even plan pranks and surprises for my friends and his. We have become so close that sometimes we think about the same things and laugh at the same time, when he’s silent and when I am. Sometimes I answer a question he has in mind to ask seconds before they want to escape his lips.
There are times when he’s down, emotionally, physically and even financially. I make sure I am there to share every joy, sadness, pain, happiness and achievement with him. He knows for sure that he can lean on me, he can draw strength from me. Sometimes he watches me cook and he has just as much satisfaction from that. We don’t need to have sex to communicate how we feel or even feel intimate.
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My point is, relationships are best secured on the basis of emotional bonding and not on the basis of physical bonding.
Good relationships are based on THREE;
TRUST
HONESTY
RESPECT
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
EQUALITY
One of the best signs of a relationship is that your partner wants the best for you. There are a lot of teenagers and even youths who are keeping themselves for marriage and are in happy healthy relationships.
If you’re in a relationship and the only thing you know how to do best is give good sex, then there’s a problem. My aunt said she’s better off in the kitchen than she is on the bed and her husband loves her just as much if not more. She adds a lot of value and meaning to his life and that’s what he needs to grow.
HOW TO HEIGHTEN INTIMACY WITHOUT SEX( warning, this is for those who are serious minded and want a lasting relationship)
HOLD HANDS; oxytocin which is known as the love hormone makes us feel happy, warm and even loved and is released when people hold hands. I’m most certain that even if you both are taking a walk down the street and you hold hands, you’d certainly smile. It shows love, affection and subconsciously says “I’m with you on this one”.
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NON SEXUAL TOUCHES; this will create some sort of chemistry and shows that you care. Touching his/her hair, back massages and especially hugging. Sometimes when I cry, he’d hug me, rub my back and sometimes my hair and before you know it, I’ve fallen asleep, so comforted. This little action between partners can build so much connection.
GAZE INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES; yes, do it longingly. It might seem awkward at first, but over time, it will become one way you both communicate and it’s oh, so romantic. Imagine your partner giving you eye contact in public, trying to read and know you, opening up so that you can read and know too, the depth of his/her thoughts can then be known, even fears and worries and passions.
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COMMUNICATION; the old school style would be sweet. Ever try writing a letter? Pen, paper and your thoughts? Imagine how you’d feel getting to read it over and over again knowing your partner poured out his/her heart. Asides from that, talking one on one should be deep and not just based on the surface. Start by telling your partner EVERYTHING. Names you’d like to give your kids, new food combinations, talk about stories you’ve read, share opinions, and you’d see the side of your partner you’ve never seen before.
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GET SPIRITUAL; as funny as it may sound, it’s a very healthy part of growing intimacy. Engage in each other’s religious activities, go to the church, attend programs together, pray together and even discuss scriptures together. It will open an intellectual world where you can both learn from each other. Pray for your partner, TELL GOD about his/her struggles and tell your partner about your spiritual experiences. Make sure you have a spiritual connection to your faith too.
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Last tip, I advise you try to engage in your partner’s hobbies and fun activities. be a little naughty, be full of surprises, Maybe go to the beach sometime and play like kids and laugh silly. Just make sure you connect.
