A lot of things are being said about the causes of failure in relationships. A lot of absurd things happen in relationships, priorities are misplaced and there is lack of balance in both worlds. We judge the situation based on stories conveyed by both partners, forgetting to check the foundation of the relationship. Ever thought of that? Family relationships and friendships are easier to keep, compared to romantic ones. There is need for constant communication and expression and so much more when it comes to keeping the “love of your life”.
Let’s ask ourselves this question. Why do we get into relationships? People rarely search themselves. It’s easy to fall in love with someone yes. But why exactly do you need to be with that person? I am asking this because you can be in a relationship with a person and still fall for someone elsewhere, but still be committed to the one you’re in the “ship” with.
Take a background check on you. If your answers above are negative or you’re single and looking to find a partner soon, I want you to ask yourself these questions above and see what I have to say below. Self-discovery is key. You have to be a right person. “IF YOU WANT TO FIND THE RIGHT PERSON, YOU HAVE TO BE THE RIGHT PERSON”.
• If you want to love your partner right, you have to love yourself first. Be at peace with your body soul and spirit. Some people get into relationships not loving themselves enough, leading to draining the other partner. Get it right with yourself first. Accept yourself.
• If you have zero character, zero values, you will not maintain a healthy relationship. If you think you’ll suddenly grow good traits and learn how to be right in a relationship, you’re wrong! Some certain characters and values need to be inbuilt.
• Know thyself and know what you need from a relationship. SEXUAL Pleasure is an added advantage. If your aim is to fulfill your sexual desires, you’re not ready. You need to be able to love wholeheartedly, connect with your partner on different levels, communicate effectively, build trust and learn to sacrifice.
• Get your priorities right first. Build your life first. It is advisable to achieve some personal goals first and have your own social circle and activities.
• Fall in love with the right character. This is a bit tricky because people camouflage their true self. It is risky trying to build a solid foundation with someone who is going through psychological issues pertaining to their past or present. People who have no ambitions whatsoever and are carefree. People who are negative and suck away good vibes. People who have no moral values. People who have no interest in your personal growth, who can’t help in anyway. People who are too stubborn and will never listen to you. People who do not have foresight.
One time my friend fell in love with this girl who could not control her sexual urges. She wasn’t even clean; she kept cheating and always had excuses for all her wrongs. She kept on draining him till he withdrew from all of us, his friends. He loved her too much to want to let her go. He was in the right state for a relationship, but he fell in love with the wrong character. The foundation was therefore ruined because he can’t settle with that kind of person. It’s best to study, before making a choice. Can you handle his/her flaws?
My next article will be on positive and negative characters that build and destroy. Thanks for reading. Please leave a comment.
