HEART BREAK
Early morning sleep has always been the sweetest. That hour your alarm cries out begging you to wake up but your spirit is still enjoying the freedom of the wonder land. You know that freedom of eating everything you want without paying in your dream, you just have to wake up and that's it. That was exactly the realm I was in. I was enjoying my fried rice and salad with very big chicken when this crazy alarm kept shouting and screaming for me to wake up as if I was holding the key to its life. This is the 100th time I am killing the alarm yet it keeps resurrecting and disturbing the whole neighborhood as if it's going to give me food if I wake up. Finally I opened my eyes and stared angrily at the alarm if it was possible to strangle it I would have done that long ago... but thank God for alarms shaa if not kasala for done burst on top plenty people head.....( Imagine waking up by 7:30am when you gave an interview by 7:00am hahaha just forget about the job) I was still staring at the alarm when I remembered the main reason why I set the alarm in the first place...
"The girl I have been asking out for over one month now promised to come to my place today to give me her response."
Boom I jumped out my bed in a haste to start my brothers code "If you know you know" but then I mistakenly stepped on a banana peels that was littered on the floor, the thing threw me off balance and landed my bumbum so hard on the rough ground , my leg so up above my head and my head hitting the bed stand. The Pain was something out of this world. My spirit was crying" you're dead you're dead" I was already seeing small small tiny stars with different colors dancing shaku shaku around my eyes. I managed to finally regain my strength and stand on my feet but the impact of the fall was still on, my room was going round and round until I fell on top of my bed and still hit my head at the bed edge. I jacked up immediately.. ah ah ah my brain, who asked me to wake up today, at this point I was already crying like a baby....(Village people at work)
I was still crying when my phone started ringing "I think my soon to be babe wants to remind me of her coming". I managed to get my phone the caller was unknown
Me: Hello dear (With the nicest voice ever, trying to hide all the pains on my head through)
Caller: Dear customer, multiply your airtime by six...
Ahhhhh MTNnnn the thunder that will fire you is still at the gym house doing press up... I don't blame you nah me fuck up go borrow 500 naria airtime.
I dropped my phone and decided to be more careful. This day will not be a disaster. I mumbled already angry at myself and the alarm for waking me up and for not allowing me to finish my free food in peace. I just stood staring at the mess in the room and thinking on where to start when a knock came on the door and brought me out my thoughts.
Oohh the girl is finally here and the room is still looking scattered.
My God... The worst thing that can happen is for her to see this room like this... I was already sweating like a goat that escaped slutter. Even my boxers were still on the chair haaaa!!! Confusion washed down my small head, I began running up and down, I picked up a broom, dropped it, picked up the cutlass ahhh where should I keep this?? Where where? I just dropped it on the floor first.... I started looking for the mopping stick I know I don't have. (Have you ever been this confused before?)
The knock keeps increasing and this time around the person was knocking as if we share the rent of the house. I was forced to check who it was, going towards the door I mistakenly hit my leg on the cutlass I brought out..oohh Jesus... Still screaming and jumping with one leg in pain, the broom on the floor carried the other remaining leg up gbaragadaaaa I landed on the ground again on my bumbum. I started crying loudly this time not minding who's at the door . Yet again the knock came, I went to the door, opened it only for me to see three young guys dressed like pastors with very long ties each with their own umbrella and briefcase bag ahhhhhhh "Jehovah Witness Preachers"
One of them: We are Jehov…
Me: Jehovah what!!! Wait am coming
I went inside, brought out my cutlass, came and saw the temple run... Who did I offend today...
From banana peels to MTN callers now Jehovah witnesses who swear for me today!!!
I came back to see a text message from my babe saying she wasn't interested in me, that she already has a boyfriend. Wait so after I have almost gone to my early grave this morning in the name of cleaning the room for her arrival Haaaaaaaah Aunty we die here oooh.. we must relationship this thing oooo in fact..... Ahhhhhhh my heart
Relationship we never started. I don chop breakfast join..... I wept like Jesus at the tomb of Lazurus. I was still crying bitterly when I felt someone tapping me to wake me up from my sleep. I was already wetting the bed with saliva and tears.... I jumped up on the bed breathing heavily like someone who just finished a 100 meter race. I was soaked with sweat... Wait, I have been dreaming all this while.. so all this was a dream haaaa all this was a dream I wanted to jump out of the bed when I remembered my dream I just hung my leg in the air. I am too early to die Young abi is too young to die early. Oohhh I have a date today…. Hahh my dream. Any Joseph in the house? Okay okay you done catch me....
I am scared of my dream coming to pass... Heartbreak nah your mate...
Everything that happened in that dream broke my heart. Small heart I try to manage… God abeg ooo