I have not mounted a podium to speak with a microphone for a long time, and I have made it clear to myself that whenever I get the opportunity to do so again, I am not going to talk at the top of my voice again. I am going to take it easy and speak with a calm voice, like someone who owns three private jets. Back in the days鈥攏ot that far ago鈥攚hen I used to be available to alter activities in the church (yes, I mean things like preaching and leading prayers), I used to talk at the top of my voice to give it more liveliness. But I later came to understand that people who do that are sometimes just forcing things.馃榿
Yes, I experienced one of the most embarrassing moments of my life through that very habit. I was given a prayer to lead on a Sunday morning, as the routine was every Sunday. Unfortunately, the weekend before that week, I was suffering from severe catarrh (runny nose), as it had always been with me. That Sunday morning, my body system decided to embarrass me to the core.
When it was my turn to lead the prayer, I got into it with my usual loud, Holy-Ghost-filled shouts, and immediately, the running nose struck me hard. I felt the fluids rushing down as if they wanted to pour like a tap. I struggled to hold them back, but hey, I could not because my body was "up" due to how energetic I was shouting the prayer.. Unfortunately, they came out, and I did not have a handkerchief with me. So, I used my hand to hold the fluid while I stylishly ended the prayer before the exact time, then rushed out of the altar to the outside.
As I was leaving, I could see how the congregation was looking at me pitifully. I got outside and blew the hell out of my nose, as if the fluid was never going to come out. After I was done and had cleaned my hand properly, I stood there thinking about my life and how I was going to sneak back into the pastorate seat and get stared at by a congregation of about 200 members.
The worst part of the situation was that Christiana, who lives in the neighboring village, was present that Sunday. Of course, you should know who Christiana is 馃槄. Well, well, I really felt embarrassed and did not bother going back inside the auditorium until the service ended.
After the service, I went to apologize to the pastor who had assigned me the task, and he felt sorry for me. He also told his wife, who is a chemist, to give me some drugs.
Yeah, it happened during NYSC.
Thanks for reading.
