Learn to be comfortable in the uncomfortable. Learn to be peaceful, not bored. Learn to be inspired, not scared.
Maxime Lagac
Unmotivated is how I'm feeling right now, (at the point of writing this) it's how I have been feeling over the last 48 hours. Within this time all I've been doing is laying on my bed supposedly waiting for whatever is going to happen, coming on hive between the hours forcing myself to read post even though my body and mind is refusing to do so, and dropping any comment I can squeeze out of my mind. Then again I've also had so many hours to reflect on a lot of things which made me realize that a lot of beautiful things can come out of the strive to do what you do when you are at your lowest.
Three days ago, I was feeling all enthusiastic and optimistic about the plans I had made for the month understanding this month will be a really challenging one with my final exams, project, and subsequent fees that are required to be settled, coupled with my consistency on hive alongside other important life activities in-between. But at the beginning of the last 48 hours, it's as though I couldn't remember the reasons why I was feeling all enthusiastic and optimistic In the first place up until now which is definitely because I haven't had anything to eat in the last 48 hours 馃槀
Last night I tried writing after looking at my schedule, only to drop my phone with the feeling that I would die if I made a move. The only thing I could remember was finding a comfortable position for my stomach 馃槀 and waking up this morning feeling more unmotivated about anything. But this time it came with the feeling of being useless if I continued to let how I feel stop me from doing the things I should be doing. Knowing I currently don't have the strength to do everything I'm supposed to do, I picked up my phone to write this alongside a couple of other posts I've already written in my unmotivated state.
Right now (writing to this point) I feel a little bit more purposeful than the helplessness I was feeling a while ago which is making me think to myself where the hell the strength came from and at the same time a little voice in my head telling me it is the beauty that can only be seen when you insist on doing what you have chosen even in an uncomfortable state. At this point I no longer feel helpless or unmotivated, nor do I feel enthusiastic and optimistic, but doing this gives me a feeling of satisfaction knowing I have been disciplined enough to strive to actualize the goal I set for myself when I could easily come up with an excuse of feeling weak and too hungry to do anything.
This time it's not about finding a balance or deciding to make up for the time lost. But rather rising above my current weakness and deciding to find strength where there's non. If I'm to be honest here, I feel proud of myself because the feeling of finding strength is literally unexplainable.
Thanks for stopping by my blog today, until next time.