It's funny now that I think about it.
Growing up my dad used to be my hero, I look so much like him that right now many think I'm his younger brother. I won't blame them because he had me at a very young age. Apart from our resemblance I wanted to be like my father because of the picture my mum painted about him in my mind as a boy. To me, he was the perfect person.
Not until I became much older as a teenager then I saw him for what he was. It was hard to take it in that my hero had suddenly become my greatest villain. I was always in the boarding school so I did not stay at home much to see him for who he was, so anytime I and my little sister came home from school, he would buy us gifts and take us on outings. Sometimes we didn't even get to meet him at home because he was always going on business trips.
When I turned 15 was the first time I saw him hit my mother over a little argument, the entire scenario was so strange that I can remember being scared, I had never seen him in such a state. When I tried speaking he hit me so hard in the face that blood clothing entered my eyes. But my mum wouldn't take any chances in trying to convince me that he was in a bad mood and it was nothing I did. I remember her asking me at a point "have you ever seen him behave like this" and I said no, so you shouldn't feel bad about it she said.
After that incident we never spoke about it, nor did he apologize. He has never apologized for anything since I knew him. Two years later his business started going down because he refused to take my mum's advice on certain matters. I remember her trying to bring up certain business matters while I was at home and he would joke over it when the family is together and angrily shun my mum when he thinks I and my siblings are not watching.
During that period my younger sister was withdrawn from the boarding school because my dad's business could no longer bear the burden of the fees. It was then my sister had a first-hand experience of what was truly going on at home.
I just entered college and my sister started as a day student in secondary school. She would call to tell me how he always beat my mum and her when she tried to talk, she said he was mostly beating her over little arguments. I decided to spend one of my weekends at home that was the day hell broke loose between him and me. He heard him and my mum arguing again because he was about to sell our house after a few minutes I heard my mum scream and my sister shouting at him. I immediately ran downstairs only to see him hitting both my mum and sister I was so upset that I ran and pushed him away from them. Immediately she started begging me to calm down because she knew I hardly get angry my dad was ready for a fight, and I was too but my mum prevented it from happening. It was from that moment My dad became my villain. I was hell-bent on making him pay for everything he was doing to my mum. I went as far as sizing the house documents so he wouldn't have access to it but my mum was always defending him, always trying to make an excuse for his actions and doing everything it takes to ensure I don't throw punches at him.
It was then I knew my entire childhood was a lie my mum filled me up with. I even got to discover at a point that my dad never wanted me as a baby and only accepted me because he had no choice. I discovered the reason we never always saw him at home was that he preferred being with his lovers. The more I knew this thing the more I hated him, I decided at a point that I wasn't going to have anything to do with him not even with my education. But my mum like always would plead with me to just accept it for her, my mum became my hero and I was going to do anything to make her happy since all he did was to make her cry.
Finally, he lost everything he had, both all his businesses and properties, and that was when he decided to take a good turn. It's been 5 years down the line and I must admit he has changed. I think he apologized to my mum secretly and my sister forgave him easily although it took me a year to bring myself to forgive him and let go of everything. What hurt me the most about his actions was that I took him for what he was not and I felt lied to. Right now he's trying to be a better father to the rest of my siblings and I'm sure happy about that, at least they get to experience genuine fatherly love.
However, it took another five years for me and my dad to talk like father and son but am glad we have been able to get through. But most of all I have learned a valuable lesson from my story, family Is not decided on how many possessions they have but how much love they can give. My mother is and would always be my hero because she loved a man for almost 25 years even when the man never deserved that love. He was not her relative, but she took him as a family not because she had to but because she choose to.
