Greetings, hive! I believe everyone is doing well. This blog will be all about the dark side of birthdays.
Blue
Blue—a primary color. The color of the ocean, the atmosphere, and an extensive and infinite skyline. It’s comforting, relaxing, and my preferred hue. I adore its ability to be serene and strong, luminous yet profound. However, blue is also associated with sorrow, nostalgia, and the subtle sadness that resides below the surface.
Birthday—A Day of Happiness or a Day of Sadness
By conception, it is every birthday that ends with "-day": the day when we observe the anniversary of coming into this world. Growing up, I always had a lot of excitement about birthday happenings. The sheer delight of listening to others serenade me with a birthday song brought happiness to my heart.
However, as I aged, everything transformed. My view on birthdays changed. I don’t anticipate them with the same excitement anymore. I no longer appreciate the attention as I once did. Indeed, there are times I truly fear it. The birthday song that used to bring me joy now seems overpowering, nearly stifling.
Feelings: What Am I Experiencing?
There is this invisible pressure, particularly around the time of one's birthday-for joy, for festivities, and to give meaning to the occasion. But what if one does not want to celebrate? What if one just wants to spend an uneventful day quietly? Being in mind only on my birthday makes me feel sad like that is the only day that matters to them.
Birthdays used to be happy; now they are fraught with unseen burdens- a rushing clash of feelings too hard for me to catch. Probably it is realizing that time just seems to fly. Perhaps it is the anxiety for all those unfulfilled expectations. Perhaps it is just... aging.
Have you ever felt this? Let's talk about it in the comment section below!
