I have always loved books, even as a child when asked what I wanted as a gift, I would always scream at the top of my lungs how a new book would make my day.
My love for books gradually graduated to a love for writing awful articles about the boys I liked and how I felt at the time.
It then moved to me wanting to study literature but as a Nigerian, I came to realize that being a writer wasn't something I would have on a platter when I could be a doctor, there were two options, be jobless like my mother said by doing an art course or make her proud by being a doctor who hated blood and would throw away her food when people coughed around her due to the disgust she felt. Well in case you are wondering what I chose, of course, make her proud because I did live to make everyone happy (except me).
After going from medicine to settling for pharmacy and then moving to psychology and graduating with a degree certificate in Security, I guess I would say I was really confused (still am), but one thing that made me feel great every time was a pen and a book.
Every time I went through depression and shut out the world, I would pick up a book and write how I felt, how I hate the world and how scared I was of pain, or I would kill myself(yay to my low pain tolerance right?)
It did get to a point where my depression fed on my writing and my writing fed on my depression and I had to choose between being miserable and my passion and for once I made the right choice, I chose to work on my health while writing In my head through my imagination.
It did take a while but gradually with a lot of work (a story for another day) I got my Mojo back and I started writing again after losing my biggest coping mechanisms (my phone)
I could remember crying when I wrote my first article back because it felt so relieving. Since then I have written a book and some more random awful articles about boys and how I felt.
I lost myself losing my passion but I did gain myself not being defined by what I lost but by realizing that who I am and what I didn't have to fit in a box because I was the box where things fit in.
I am not a writer, I am a box of passion waiting to burst out.