Pues ya debe hacer mas o menos 1 mes desde que mi mujer y yo nos separamos, pero inexplicablemente todo va a mejor entre nosotros, l贸gicamente con altibajos, pero a medida que pasa el tiempo son mas altos que bajos.
Si hace un mes supiese que hoy estar铆a as铆, tal y como estoy ahora hubiera firmado sin pensarlo, nos est谩bamos haciendo da帽o sin querer.
Solo en este mes, hemos tenido conversaciones mas largas y profundas que nunca, siento una conexi贸n t铆pica de un reci茅n enamorado, intento alejarme para darle su espacio, su libertad que era una de las cosas que nos faltaba, y estoy deseando volver a verla, pero fuera de momentos puntuales, no estoy preocupado como siempre estaba con cosas como: que estar谩 haciendo, con quien, cuando volver谩.... cosas normales supongo dentro de una relaci贸n t贸xica.
Hoy la espero, y espero que venga feliz y contenta, me da igual lo que haya estado haciendo o con quien, con quien ella quiera y lo que ella quiera... el simple hecho de que haya vuelto a seguir compartiendo conmigo ese estado de felicidad, es una de las mas grandes muestras de amor, ya que ella misma ha decidido compartirlo conmigo, sin ning煤n sentimiento de obligaci贸n y porque se siente feliz y volviendo a disfrutar de momentos conmigo, como yo.
Sinceramente, esto lo acabo de aprender... lo que me hace sentir realmente bien, feliz o cercano a la felicidad no es el hecho de que seamos pareja, de que este cerca... no, es el saber que pasa un rato conmigo porque quiere y porque lo elige, eso me esta haciendo sentir diferente y tambi茅n que nuestra relaci贸n ahora sea completamente diferente.... una maravilla como lo fue hace muchos a帽os atr谩s.
Cosas tan banales como tomarme unas copas, cervezas, perder la cabeza durante unas horas, re铆rme, tener ganas de salir de hacer cosas de moverme... y sobre todo de seguir creando momentos 煤nicos 'sin restricciones' con mis ni帽os, lo que quiera, cuando quiera.
Y el estar tranquilo... emocionalmente hablando, sabiendo y estando convencido de que si me esta esperando para algo, si vamos a hacer algo juntos todos, no va a ser porque una relaci贸n de pareja lo imponga, sino porque realmente ella quiere y yo quiero, y esta siendo el placer mas grande que he experimentado en mucho mucho tiempo, una tranquilidad y paz mental que era impensable hace meses.... y al mismo tiempo una conexi贸n.. que pens茅 que hab铆a desaparecido.
Yo no creo en las casualidades, creo plenamente en el destino... y con todo mi coraz贸n deseo que esto no sea mas que una prueba mas que nos pone la vida, una piedra grande que nos har谩 volver mas fuertes, con mas ganas y mas ilusi贸n que nunca, si digo lo contrario miento, y yo nunca miento!
Pero lo cierto, es que no lo s茅, ajajaj si supiese todo lo que el destino tiene preparado ser铆a un poco aburrido, no?
Lo que se es que yo estoy feliz, ella esta feliz, juntos estamos felices y los ni帽os est谩n felices... se necesita algo mas? Yo creo que no... he llegado a otra conclusi贸n que me ha hecho cambiar una forma muy interiorizada m铆a de pensar, y es que la finalidad, la 煤nica finalidad u objetivo es ese, ser feliz contigo mismo y mas a煤n con quien quieres, con quien quieres de verdad, es una combinaci贸n incre铆ble... todo lo dem谩s, cualquier cosa, absolutamente cualquiera, es parte del camino para alcanzar esa meta, ese objetivo.
馃槝馃槝馃槝馃槝
English
It's been about a month since my wife and I separated, but inexplicably everything is getting better between us, logically with ups and downs, but as time goes by they are more ups than downs.
If a month ago I knew that today I would be like this, as I am now, I would have signed without thinking about it, we were hurting each other without wanting to.
Just in this month, we have had longer and deeper conversations than ever, I feel a connection typical of a newly in love, I try to move away to give her her space, her freedom which was one of the things we were missing, and I am looking forward to see her again, but outside of punctual moments, I am not worried as I always was with things like: what will she be doing, with whom, when will she come back.... normal things I guess inside a toxic relationship.
Today I wait for her, and I hope she comes happy and content, I don't care what she has been doing or with whom, with whom she wants and what she wants... the simple fact that she has returned to continue sharing with me that state of happiness, is one of the greatest signs of love, since she herself has decided to share it with me, without any feeling of obligation and because she feels happy and returning to enjoy moments with me, like me.
Honestly, I just learned this.... *what makes me feel really good, happy or close to happiness is not the fact that we are a couple, that he is close... no, it is knowing that he spends time with me because he wants to and because he chooses to, that is making me feel different and also that our relationship now is completely different .... a wonder as it was many years ago.
Things as banal as having a few drinks, beers, losing my mind for a few hours, laughing, feeling like going out to do things, moving... and above all to keep creating unique 'no holds barred' moments with my kids, whatever I want, whenever I want.
And being calm... emotionally speaking, knowing and being convinced that if she is waiting for me for something, if we are going to do something together, it will not be because a couple relationship imposes it, but because she really wants and I want, and it is being the greatest pleasure I have experienced in a long time, a tranquility and peace of mind that was unthinkable months ago .... and at the same time a connection... that I thought had disappeared.
I don't believe in coincidences, I fully believe in destiny... and with all my heart I wish that this is just another test that life gives us, a big stone that will make us come back stronger, with more desire and more illusion than ever, if I say the opposite I'm lying, and I never lie!
But the truth is that I don't know, if I knew everything that destiny has prepared, it would be a bit boring, wouldn't it?
What I do know is that I am happy, she is happy, we are happy together and the kids are happy... do you need anything else? I think not... I have come to another conclusion that has made me change a very internalized way of thinking, and that is that the purpose, the only purpose or objective is that, to be happy with yourself and even more with who you want, with who you really want, it is an incredible combination... everything else, anything else, absolutely anything, is part of the way to reach that goal, that objective.
馃槝馃槝馃槝馃槝
