A few days ago I wrote a #freewrite talking about how I've reignited the will to lose flab and fat and flabbity fat -- An Uphill Battle (that will be won). Today I just wanted to expand upon that a bit and keep myself accountable by being public with my goals.
There's a difference in just stating in passing, "Oh, I'm going to lose weight," and actually doing it. I have friends who know that it's what I want to do, but they're not going to hold me accountable if I decide to eat a 6-pack of doughnuts. Only I can do that.
In saying that, I haven't had a single doughnut in almost a month, haha! 😅
About four weeks ago I started my journey slowly by changing my eating habits. I was snacking so much before. Not as much as some stories you hear about; I was definitely not a 2L Coke every day, KFC every day, chocolate to myself every day, 10,000 calories a day type of person, but I still snacked more often than I should have. Moreover, I was encouraged to snack because apparently I "deserved the treat" after hard days, after my son was being a nightmare, after I finished writing a chapter, after any minor life event.
That's since stopped.
So let's begin with my aforementioned change in eating habits. This is/was one of my larger struggles simply because I'm not used to eating so much food. Even when I was snacking, it would take the place of other meals. "Oh, I have a packet of chips? Guess that's lunch and dinner." or "Oooh, a half-dozen doughnuts? That's my food for the day!"
Furthermore, I most certainly was not getting the vitamins and nutrients I need. So I spent a couple of days pouring myself over the nutritional information of various foods and trying to tailor something to my own life that I'd actually enjoy eating. Unfortunately it was also recommended that I eat a shit-tonne more protein than I could imagine so I had to factor that in as well.
I have several daily eating plans spreadsheeted up, but this is just one of them:
Trying to remain around 1300 calories and at least 70g of protein. Which is apparently the bare minimum for protein requirements. But seriously. This is So. Much. Food. By after lunch I'm completely full and am struggling to eat dinner hours later.
Apparently I need to eat it though, so I'm shoving it down and hoping I don't feel too much liked a beached whale afterwards. Fun fact: I totally feel like a beached whale afterwards.
It's been a few weeks and I'm still struggling actually eating that much. After I changed my eating habits I also got acid reflux for the first time in my life but that's since settled down, thankfully. My face also broke out in a crapload of pimples, but they seem to have mostly disappeared now too. Whew.
About a week after I changed my eating habits, I slowly started factoring in some exercise. Didn't want to just throw it all upon myself at once. Nice and gradual is key. 😊
First I added in some extra walking, plus some at-home dumbbell routines.
The next week I added in more walking and extra at-home dumbbell sets, also included some more leg workouts and nearly died. My body did not like the squats I forced upon it.
Now I have an elliptical built up in the lounge-room ready for use. I haven't done too much on it yet, my body doesn't feel quite ready, but have done a few 5-minutes here and there. At the moment my son uses it more than I do, but that's okay. He can get into it if he wants, haha; he needs a bit more activity in his life!
I'm also planning on taking some hikes down the local Rail Trail and up a mountain trail. The mountain will be the big goal. I tried that a couple of years ago and barely made it 20m up the incline.
There are many things spurring me on. The most important one being that I want to become the best that I can be, and that involves finally doing this... after years of being depressed and disappointed at myself. And I will get what I want. I owe it to myself. 🙃💪
I started thinking about this earlier in the year, but I never felt the urge to actually do anything about it until now. I want to look nice, I want to feel confident, I want to wear pretty clothes, I want my big fat arms to be smaller than my head, I want to be happy, I want to have a life, I want to go to the beach and not be that whale all the teenagers giggle at...
The beach... we're moving next year. To a place close to the beach. My son will be soooo happy. He's always talking about the beach. I like to hope I'll be ready. If not, no biggy; this is not something I'm rushing. This is something I want for the rest of my life.
Where I'm planning on moving I have a very close friend who I miss dreadfully, who I haven't seen for 8 years, have barely spoken to for 8 years after he hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me in my life. And I've had a pretty fucked up life, so that's big. But he admitted his wrongdoings, his mistakes, apologised to me, and now we're working to be each other's motivation and inspiration.
He wants to lose about 35-40kg, I want to lose about the same.
As I said earlier in this ramble only I can keep myself accountable for what I am doing, but the support of someone who loves me and believes in me is immense also.
We will do this.
Photo from a couple of days ago.
Nope. I'm not planning on doing the stereotypical photos in my underwear so you can see all of the flab I'm trying to lose, but I am planning on taking a new photo and writing an update every 10 days or so!
So, if you actually read all of this and you're interested, see you in about 6 or 7 days. 😉
All images in this post courtesy of me, 
