Dear Diary,
That's how you're supposed to start these things, isn't it? I haven't written one of these since I was a teenager. Are adults even allowed to write diaries? That's probably a stupid question. Of course they are. What am I thinking.
Anyway. It finally happened. I had a mental breakdown at work. Damn the JoJa Corporation, damn everything to do with them! I threw my computer across the room and told them where to stick each shattered component. I'll never forget the look on my colleagues' respective faces. They all wanted to do the same thing but didn't have the guts. One day they will. I like to think that they will anyway.
As I was packing up my desk, I found an old letter from my grandfather and remembered his dying words. "When life seems bleak, when the day-to-day gets you down, open this letter. I have something for you."
Oh boy, did he! The deed to his old farm. It's been years. Of course the property is in shambles -- I cleaned out my savings restoring it to a somewhat livable state, it's still a mess, and now I only have 500g to my name -- but I'm out of the cursed city! Away from the JoJa Corporation! And my new life will be remarkable. I know it.
At least, that's what I tell myself to ease my grumbling stomach as I prepare for sleep tonight.
I spent the day clearing broken wood and stone and scattered debris. My poor city body is not used to this. I found some parsnip seeds in my grandfather's old cupboard... at least, I think they were parsnip seeds. Some sort of seeds anyway. Hopefully nothing illegal -- I can't exactly afford lawyers or court fees at the moment. But I planted them, watered them, and here's hoping they actually grow.
At least I'm out of that cursed city.
Let's dispense with the formalities, dear diary, I know you and you know me. But you know who we don't know? The people of this quaint little village.
I met some of the locals today... most of them seem nice but there are a few who are definitely a bit iffy. There's another farmer south of me named Andy; he could barely hide his jealousy of my newfound farmland. He's obsessed with the JoJa Corporation, too. An avid supporter. Took me all of my strength to retain a polite disposition and not fall into mindless ranting. And I guess stereotypes are everywhere because there's a goth kid in town, a blonde bimbo, and a man who can't seem to let go of his teenage sporting dream.
Am I stereotype too? The burnt-out city slicker who runs back to where nature reigns? I don't even know. But a lot of these people remind me of why I never kept in touch with old high school acquaintances.
In other news, my parsnips have sprouted! That's a good start at least. I spent my last 500g on potato seeds because I'm an idiot. Want to know what I had for dinner tonight? A dandelion I found growing next to my house.
My stomach's rumbles and grumbles will send me off to sleep again tonight. Here's hoping they're not painful this time.
Today I met a few more people who live around these parts! There's a wealthy woman and her son who moved here to get away from the city life, just as I did. They ended up a bit better off than me however, but it'll be nice to have someone more... familiar to talk to.
There's also a fisherman on the beach. Apparently he just came back from a maritime extravaganza, made a fortune selling fish, and bought an epic new fishing rod. Because I'm new in town he gave me his old one. I would just like to note here that I've never fished in my life but I am intrigued by this "making a fortune" thing.
Found a message board by the local store where people ask for things from time to time. The local chef was paying 45g for each green algae delivered. He's the only diner in town and now I'm not sure I ever want to eat at his establishment -- who knows what dishes he was putting that slime into! -- but at least I made some extra money... which was quickly squandered. You see, tonight I bought and ate a single loaf of bread. No butter. No spreads. No filling. Just the bread.
My stomach is slightly happier tonight. My tastebuds? Not so much.
It's official. The mayor thinks I'm crazy.
Maybe I am. It was only a couple of weeks ago I slammed a computer to the ground and threatened to shove each shattered part up my old manager's rectum.
This is different though. I was wandering around the village outskirts when I saw the mayor staring forlornly at a building more dilapidated than my grandfather's farmhouse. He told me all about how it used to be a grand community centre that everyone in town used to frequent. But then it fell into disrepair and no-one cared any longer.
We went inside. And I swear to Yoba I saw little green spirit men.
The mayor chuckled uneasily, stood back a little bit, then said something about rats.
I know what I saw. These weren't rats. Or, maybe I'm truly riding the crazy train right now. I don't know. I really don't know. After I was sure the mayor had gone elsewhere, I snuck back inside and had a look around. I didn't see anymore little green spirit men but there were whispers everywhere, soft taps echoed in the darkness, and I found a golden parchment glued to the floor. Glued.
The place -- this writing -- is unnatural and gives me the heebie-jeebies. No wonder this building was abandoned.
Maybe I'm crazier than previously imagined. Apparently, there's a wizard in the woods -- a real life wizard!
I'm not making this stuff up.
He invited me into his tower, showed me a vision of the little green spirit men, then made me drink this disgusting forest elixir. Seriously. I was tripping for at least ten hours afterwards! Watching trees dance while falling leaves sung sweet nothings. Completely wasted my day.
When I awakened, the wizard stared at me with his steely eyes and told me that the little green spirit men -- or, 'junimos' -- are real, and they want my help. And now, thanks to drinking the forest elixir, I can communicate with the little devils.
I think this strange purple-haired man-wizard is simply enabling my already fragile mind. He's gotta be.
Might have to ask him for that forest elixir recipe though...
I haven't seen any more spirits or visions or even wizards. Maybe those strange couple of days were merely the end of the mental breakdown that began trapped in an office cubicle several weeks ago.
One can hope.
It was Easter today. There was a huge festival in the village! Everyone came, and some of them even seem to be warming up to me. That'll be nice. Having friends again. I haven't had friends in years. Friends are looked down upon when you work at the JoJa Corporation. Every man for himself!
Anyway. Pierre, the local shoppe man, was selling strawberry seeds for exorbitant prices. There was no way I could afford to buy those things. Luckily Andy, the farmer south of me, gave me a few seeds last week. I mentally flipped that shoppe man the bird. Seriously. Once my own have grown, I'm going to pick every tiny seed out of them and begin my own strawberry monopoly. What a bastard.
There was also an Easter Egg Hunt! Unfortunately, because there was so much food at the festival, I ate like I've never eaten before and was a full-on whale as I waddled around looking for eggs.
Abigail won. I'll get her back next year. At least my stomach finally has the food it deserves. I won't be able to get out of bed tomorrow, but it was worth it.
Despite my fat, food-filled stomach I managed to crawl out of bed today. It was raining so I didn't have to water my plants but then I remembered the fisherman at the beach, the fishing rod he gave me, and the fact he had apparently made a fortune.
My house is falling apart, my fields are still strewn with debris, and I feel like I'm getting no-where with this place. I need money. So, I spent my day fishing.
In the rain.
Here's hoping I don't get a cold. Or lung cancer for that matter. The goth kid came out of his basement and started smoking, right next to me, as though I didn't even exist. When I asked him to stop, he just looked at me with a glazed stare and said, "Humans, you, me, everyone... we're like stones skipping across the water, we're all going to sink in the end. All of us."
I think he was high.
Today I heard rumour of some old mines in the mountains, filled with monsters and treasures. And more importantly: ore. The tools my grandfather left in his shack are worn and really need to be replaced soon, but the blacksmith wants me to spend a fortune buying his ore first before spending another fortune acquiring better equipment.
I don't have these fortunes!
So, with my pickaxe clenched firm, I crept into the mines and came across a man with an eyepatch. He assured me he was no pirate but in fact the guildmaster of an Adventurer's club. A club of brave people who go around murdering monsters. He threw a sword at me and told me to prove myself. Dude, I came here for the ore!
Still, the sword may prove useful. Especially if the mines truly are filled with monsters.
At any rate, I found enough ore to start making some ingots. With any luck, I'll have some new tools by the end of this season. It's so disheartening. As soon as I make any money, I have to give it to someone else. At least I'm surviving, I guess. I'm still barely eating, but I'm surviving.
Here's hoping another food-filled festival comes along soon.
I'm determined to make some friends in this town. Although the people were friendly at the Easter festival, they seem to be less warm now. I bet it's because of Leah. She showed me the community garden yesterday and asked me what I thought.
Apparently honesty is not always the best policy... I personally don't think I was rude or anything, but who knows. I simply said that the gardens were cute and then mentioned my farm could hold so much more. You know, making conversation?
She replied back with some snarky comment about how not everyone was lucky enough to get free property. Free property? Free? My grandfather left me this land in his will, but I still spent 200,000g fixing the damned place. I've been living off dandelions and bread! Working my fingers to the bone! What does she do? She paints all day.
Anyway. Today the towns-folk seem less inclined to speak with me. I was just about to give up for the day, go pick some berry bushes so I could have at least a small morsel to eat before bedtime, when I came across Shane standing at the lake.
He's usually the rudest person in this town. Never even says, "Hello." when I try and talk to him. Just grunts and tells me to leave him alone. I wasn't going to bother with him and was about to just return home when he called me over and offered me a beer.
Turns out the poor guy is depressed, no wonder he never wants to talk. He also works at JoJa Mart, no wonder he's depressed. I've been there.
He seems nice enough behind that gruff exterior. It's so perverse. The rudest person in town is the first person to actually stop and speak with me, to offer me a midnight drink, to smile and say, "See you tomorrow." -- it's a strange, strange world.
There was another festival today! With food! Oh, dear, Yoba! My stomach is so happy right now, dear diary, you have no idea.
Once again everyone came out to enjoy the day and seemed happier than any time I've ever seen them. Even the grumpy old man was trying to force himself to retain his grumpiness.
Apparently the festival today was a dance festival that could be traced back to ancient times when fertility rituals were still a thing.
Makes me glad no-one wanted to dance with me.
Sure, I feel snubbed, alone, friendless, but at least I don't have a sudden fertile glow around me. And did I mention that my stomach is full? Of food, not babies?
Oh, glorious day.
It's the last day of the season today! My three gifted strawberries bore their last fruits, my trellises delivered unto me their last beans, and I'm... proud of myself. Not a single plant died this season. It's truly remarkable.
I've never grown anything in my life. I tried to look after a small houseplant once but that survived no longer than a week. And yet, somehow I was able to plant, grow and harvest several things with no issue. Grandfather's land must be blessed because I'm certainly not.
Because it was the last day of the season, I relaxed for most of today. I wandered around and foraged some things, spoke to people... Shane is trying to pretend the other night didn't happen.
But I know the truth. Deep beneath that glum face is a friendly person. A friendly person who gives me free beer. I will unmask him eventually, I swear it.
Also stopped by the tavern and braved some of Gus' food. Tomorrow, the first day of the next season, is going to be busy and I need all the food and energy I can get! So what if it's made with algae fished from the lake? I will eat what must be eaten, and my stomach will relish every morsel.
Here's hoping for a productive second season, dear diary! It would be nice to eat properly every night and not just when a big day is coming up. Truly. I feel guilty enough buying this food... I know all this money should be saved for Summer seeds... but I just can't do this unless I have food in me.
Goodnight, and may Summer prove fruitful.
This is an entry for the 
Stardew Valley was released in 2016, was created by one sole man, and is hands down the best game of this decade.
My version of the game is modded with, hands down, the best fan-made contribution to the game ever which adds more characters, places to visit that actually fit the universe, more dialogue, more events, more everything! Makes joining the Adventurer's Guild actually seem like an amazing feat, completely overhauls the standard farm map, and eeeeeeeee! There's so much! If you play Stardew Valley and haven't tried the Expanded mod, you need to go get it NOW and start a brand new game and experience the Valley anew.
All images in this post are courtesy of me, 
