"I don't think this relationship will work, I don't see you as part of my future and besides I don't feel the same way you feel about me, I'm sorry but I think we would have to say our goodbyes for the third and last time". Those heavy words came out from me and dropped heavily at Phillip who had done nothing wrong but fall deeply in love at first sight with a young girl he met.
Phillip said to me with a teary eyes "are you sure this is what you really want, you can tell me what the problem is or what you would want me to change, I promise to do my very best to make you happy"
I stood by my decision and told him that we could still be friends. He escorted me back and waited until I entered into my gate before leaving, I wept bitterly that night, I felt multitude of emotions swirling within me and it was overwhelming, I knew I was confused and needed to talk to someone who would give me a good listening ear without being judgemental.
Few days passed and it was time to leave for my NYSC (National Youth Service Corps), this is a one year program. I contacted Philip and told him I was leaving for Osun state for my NYSC, he escorted me to the market and got me some items, he also gave me some money and we departed.
Now in Osun state I started afresh, made new friends and lived a happy life. But things took an unexpected turn when covid started. Everything went blank for me, all my friends ran back home to their families, movements were restricted, no hangout, no party, and I was asked not to return home by my mother because the situation in Lagos was worse.
I felt all alone and was depressed, It was one of the worst moments for me. I lost interest in lots of fun activities, I was tired of doing same routine daily, nobody knew how long the curfews will last and it made me even sadder, the roads were closed so even if I decided to go back home it's impossible because of police officers on the roads.
The only thing I would say that I achieved from the period of wait was time, time to think deeply about my life and the people that have genuinely loved me, about the decisions I have made so far both negative and positive decisions. My situation taught me a powerful lesson on the gift of time and it's proper use at the right time.
I took days to reflect, I cried and prayed. I remembered my past relationships, and I analyzed each one with comparisons, that was when I realized that I made a grave mistake breaking up with Phillip who had loved me with his all. He was the best amongst all the men I had dated, a good man and he treated me right.
The problem now is that Phillip has moved on and have stopped calling, "how do I bring myself to start up a conversation with him now, won't I make a ridicule out of myself" were thoughts that kept tearing me up inside. I decided to express my new feelings to a mature friend who encouraged me to make the bold step of calling.
But what if he didn't take my calls? I asked, she told me to still try since it's what I really wanted.
It took me days to gather my thoughts and words together, I also prayed about my feelings and finally made the call. The phone rang once there was no answer and my heart was beating really fast, I called again and it rang, he picked up and there was silence, I had lost my words. I ended the call immediately to catch my breath and within few seconds, he was calling back which is a good sign.
We spoke and he was curious as to why I called and asked if I was fine, I summoned courage and asked about his relationship and if we still had a chance together to make things right.
Can you guess his response?
I can never forget his response to me, Phillip said "God knows my heart that you are my answered prayer"
Those words triggered a new feeling in me about him and we started a new relationship from that day, a relationship that nutured to good and healthy friendship and to marriage.
I must say that the period of wait during the covid was a gift of time that helped me retrospect on my past decisions.
All images are mine...
