Communicating is not that easy, and we all say things that are interpreted in a different way than what we intended. TalentSmart tested the lever of emotional intelligence (EQ) in over one million people and they discovered that social awareness is missing in many of us.
There are a few phrases that smart people avoid, and we should to. Instead of using these expressions, here is how you can replace them.
Tired people are already grumpy and have problems focusing. Telling them they look tired only makes it worse. Instead, you could ask them “Is everything alright?”.
You shouldn’t assume how someone is feeling, you should ask them. More importantly, they will see that you’re concerned and preoccupied instead of being rude.
Such a comment implies that you’re criticizing them. Telling someone he/she lost weight is like telling them they didn’t look good before. Replace this phrase with “You look amazing!”, it’s a compliment that’s easy to take.
When someone breaks up with their partner, this comment implies that he/she doesn’t have a nice taste in choosing partners and that he or she made a mistake when falling in love with their ex. If you want to give support without making them feel bad, you could say “It’s her loss”.
There’s no person that always does or never does something. It’s not all just black and white. This message will make people be defensive, and you probably don’t want that. Instead, say “You do this pretty often”.
I don’t think I have to explain why this is rude. Simply say “You look great”.
Okay, it’s not a bad thing to wish someone good luck. But what if there was a better way of doing it? If you really want someone to know you want the best for them, tell them “I’m sure you can do this!”. It’s so much more personal.
This kind of expression shows that you’re indifferent. Try replacing it with “I don’t have a strong opinion on this”.
This phrase is an aggressive way of commuting the attention away from your mistake. Just say “I’m sorry”. Admitting your mistakes will prevent a lot of conflicts.
In day by day conversation, there are small things that make the difference. Try these suggestions when you talk to other people and you’ll probably be amazed by their positive impact on you social life.
Thank you!
