There are moments in life when you wish you could avoid some thoughts. Even if we’re talking about an ex, thoughts like “I can’t do this”, fears or the memory of a conflict, we all have things that we would prefer to forget.
However, we rarely manage to keep those thoughts away. Studies show that the more we try not to think about something, the more we’ll think about it.
The problem is that these thoughts have a direct impact on our stress level and anxiety. Daniel Wegner, a psychology professor from Harvard, recommends a few ways to manage this difficulty and to avoid those unpleasant thoughts.
One thing you can do is to choose an activity you enjoy and focus on it as much as you can. This way, your entire attention will be directed to that activity, instead of your problems.
For example, try to take a walk and pay attention to every step you take, to what you’re feeling, what you’re seeing and hearing. By doing this, you’ll grant attention to the external environment instead of your internal reality.
Delaying your thoughts can help you not to be absorbed by them. What you should do is to choose a certain moment of the day when you’ll allow yourself to think about what bothers you.
To be clearer, it’s recommended that you take 10 minutes a day for thinking about any problem you have and allow yourself to feel those unpleasant things. If you do this, in time you’ll be more accepting of your situation, so the level of stress will diminish in time.
There are exercises that increase your level of control over your attention. These exercises work on the premise that attention is like a muscle, it can be trained. So, the more trained our attention is, the easier it will be for us to have an internal discipline.
Although this is not easy to do, it is the most efficient technique and it will increase the quality of your life.
