To be honest, this is a question I’ve asked myself more than once. Am I someone who owns up to his actions, or do I sometimes play the victim without even realizing it? For the longest time, I used to believe I was the kind of person who took responsibility. I always told myself that when things go wrong, I’d admit my faults and learn from them. But recently, I’ve come to understand that I’m not as straightforward as I thought—I’ve had moments where i have also played victim without meaning to.
Let me share a recent experience that opened my eyes.
I just finished my exams not long ago, and overall, I felt pretty confident about most of them. But then there was this particular course that carried the highest point. It was a major one—like, fail it, and your entire semester would feel like a waste. The lecturer for that course had a reputation. He was known for setting new, unpredictable questions, so basically, the only way to pass his course was to read the entire note thoroughly—no shortcuts, no relying on past questions.
I knew this ahead of time. I even told myself, “I must read everything.” And I started early. But as the days went by, I got tired and lazy. Some parts of the note looked too bulky, especially towards the end, and I convinced myself that he probably wouldn’t set questions from those pages. I focused more on the beginning and middle parts of the material, thinking I was being smart.
The day of the exam came, and guess what? Almost all the questions came from the last section—the exact part I didn’t read. Out of the five questions we were told to answer, I could confidently do three. One was manageable. But the last one? I stared at it like it was written in another language. I had no clue. And immediately, I joined my classmates in blaming the lecturer. We called him all sorts of names. “Why would he set such wicked questions?” “Why didn’t he at least repeat some past questions?” “Doesn’t he want us to pass?”
But deep down, I knew the truth. He wasn’t the problem—I was. I made the choice to skip that part of the note. I gambled, and I lost. The over 20 marks I missed out on wasn’t because the lecturer was wicked. It was because I didn’t prepare well enough.
I didn’t like how it felt, but I’m glad it happened. Because for his next course, I didn’t leave anything out. I read everything—page to page. And when the next exam came, it was actually simple for me. I answered all the questions without sweating it. That moment made me see clearly that the problem was never the lecturer—it was just my mindset.
So yes, sometimes I fall into that victim mentality, especially when things don’t go my way. But I’m learning. I’m learning that taking full responsibility isn’t just about saying “It’s my fault” — it’s about doing better next time and not making excuses. That’s where real growth starts.
Thanks for reading.
