𝕂𝕙𝕞𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝔽𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕪 𝔸𝕓𝕣𝕠𝕒𝕕 # ❶❶ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐮𝐭𝐭 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝐊 🍑🔫

     Rewind to 2010, and I'd just left the USA for an unknown 🔮 future in Southeast Asia. I was much more concerned with job prospects, finding spicy Ital food and affordable accommodation than butt health. I'm gonna try and not get too scientific in this post, and just be as real as possible. If you want to read scholarly articles about colon cancer rates, the benefits of a squat toilet, bidet sprayer and more, you can easily google that stuff.

     I definitely saw the notorious butt blaster 🔫 on my first night in SE Asia, while staying in Thailand. I didn't think much of it, and had toilet paper at the time anyways. I only spent one night in Thailand before having a realization I needed to go to Cambodia instead, but that's another story. The point is, I would eventually be properly introduced to the bum gun in Cambodia.

     I can't say I remember the first time I was toilet-paperless in Cambodia, but it happened within days. To be not too graphic, I had already finished my business 💼 without noticing the guesthouse hadn't provided any toilet paper in my room. I was determined to solve the problem solo, so I grabbed the ole' butt blaster.

     I was hesitant at first, having already been victimized by a bidet in France 🗼 and some Japanese 🤖 technology on an airplane. At first, I first thought about sneaking the gun in from the backside, but a plethora of possible negative outcomes overwhelmed me. I settled on jamming it in between my legs upside down and angling for success. The only bad outcome was the accidental enema 😲 I received as a result of a cheap gun, stiff hose and high water pressure.

     This first experience was with a gun exactly like the one in the toilet photo above. The all-plastic models basically operate at full-throttle via pressure-washer jetstream 💣👀 or not even a drop. I learned if you spend $10 on one, you get a trigger that you can finesse and a less violent water stream.

     It's a skill easily mastered, and you can air-dry 🌬️ if you have a few minutes and no toilet paper. After nearly 10 years living in Cambodia using the bum gun, we love life in Suriname, but we miss our butt-blaster dearly. @Sreypov considers western toilet culture downright disgusting 🤢🙅‍♀️.

     As you can see in my mathematical emoji calculations, butt plus teepee equals an unhappy camper. In the southeast Asian example, we have the most ideal conditions; a butt-blast followed by a light dab if teepee is available, resulting ultimately in the "cat's meow."

     There's really not much more to steem about this subject now, other than as far as 💩 goes, a good chunk of Southeast Asia is living in the future. It's a shame Cambodians are now starting to abandon squat toilets in favor of western-style sitting toilets.

     The sitting toilet is now merely a vain status symbol of the west displayed in a Cambodian house to wow visitors. I guess it's much like the psyche behind owning an SUV in the suburbs of the USA. I think Cambodians especially don't know the science behind how much healthier squatting is when doing the deuce. Anal fissures are going to spread like a plague in Camboida.

     So here we are in Suriname, South America and/or the Caribbean, surrounded by Latin America, but locally mostly ethnically Asian people, adapting to a European way of life. Nowhere in this mishmash of cultures is there one bum gun, and it's really hard to fathom. The butt-blaster is also one of the first things I miss when I visit the USA too.

     An awkward conversation with our landlord is long overdue, but it's a necessity for us. All we need is installation permission 🏗️, and to find a bum gun or subsitute a dish blaster sink accessory.

     In conclusion I shall you leave with no science 🧪 at all, but a simple brainstorming exercise if you're still not convinced. "If you had poop on your arm, what methodology would you implement to remedy the situation? Would you immediately look for a piece of paper and wipe it off, calling it quits after that?"

     If you would wipe poop off your arm with a piece of paper and consider that adequate, congratulations, you are a psychopath. And one more added bonus is that unlike a bidet and the Japanese auto-bidet, you are the one in control with the Cambodian Butt-Blaster 2000 🔫. DIY is so much nicer than having it done to you (IDY !?); it totally removes the victimization. If you're rational, you'd likely implement an aqua-based solution, perhaps even soap. I can't come up with any better sales pitch than this, so I'll call it quits here.