The only thing I seriously wish for, apart from good health, is to gain weight. The rate at which people body shame me, either jokingly or seriously, is alarming. And each time, I smile through my pain and refused to be moved by their words.
I believe I am the cause of my very slim body and it all started with fear of getting a big tummy if I eat too much. The Phobia for getting big tummy and the fact that I had a little appetite for food contributed to my issue. Then, I will tell people that I want to become a model, and that I don't have a huge appetite for food. At times, I will skip meals like twice a day, and I was happy that I wasn't getting a big tummy.
Before I gained admission, I was constantly told that I'm getting lean and lean, everyday but I waved it off. When I went to school and came back after a semester, the body shaming started.
The picture below was taken three months ago.
People will mock me for my small stature, and compare me to my younger ones who are far bigger than me in size. Due to my small body, people refused to believe my ppage when I tell them, they think I was lying about my age and I often get comments like "you can't be more than 13, you are still underage" and others. I was 19 years then, and the words really hurt me.
Back in school, my friends will always say, "when will you get fat? You are too thin, are you sick? Someone even said I cannot have a boyfriend because I have stopped growing. I was hit, I felt bad. Everyday, I get lean, like a bowl of walking sheabutter in the sun.馃槀
Whenever I take pictures, the first thing people say about me is "you are so thin. You are this, you are that, I look like a real figure one. Here, is a picture I took two months ago.
If by chance, I get to add weight today, I want just a little bit of fat to my butt and boobs. Not too much, I just want to look my age and stop being body shamed by people. I remember one time, at my place of work, someone said only the breeze from a standing fan will blow me away, I cried in my heart.馃槀
