MOTHERS DAY
Today it’s Mothers day! For most it’s a great day where we all enjoy a nice barbecue, picnic with family and joy for what our mother did for us over the years. For me it’s a subject that can be touchy.
They always say our life come into a full circle at a certain point of our life. Weather we like it or not. Sometimes we don’t have a choice and we do what it’s necessary to protect us from evil, from negative mind that can destroy you.
Life however has many surprise and regardless of what you encounter in life; it is what it is.
Not all kids are the same thank God into this manner. But I admit there is bad mom, good mom, bad kids and good kids which make life interesting. Over the years we learned to overcome the bad and the good. We all have a path where we are guide by the most powerful person, which we believe is GOD! I thank him every day for protecting me and be at my side. I removed every negativity that was surrounded me and still to this day I do not regret my actions from what I did.
Yes, I was a good mom as many can tell you but life took a turn where I did not expect this to happen. It’s ok – because one day when my daughter will be a mom on her own she will realized how some kids can be manipulative, lying, hurting, bullying and so much more a parent can not expect.
I always say – I won’t do what my mom did to me. As a mom you work hard to give all the tools and knowledge to your own blood so that one-day they can be better then you. Sometimes you realized you give them too much tools and sometimes it’s not going in your favour as they outsmart you, which this will backfire you in so many way.
I don’t regret anything I did for my child and as a mom; wherever she is I will always love you. Do I trust her – that is a questions mark but I hope through this life time my child will learn the essence of what this life can bring in a positive way by making a difference and by teaching to be accountable for the things that went wrong, to be honest and kind. Otherwise it will stay forever in my child’s mind wondering what if.
Can you imagine the guilt of living with something your child has done and knowing your child will never admit thinking she is strong enough to not care? That is a scary though but I cannot live for her but only hoping one day she will be in peace with herself.
I know for fact that my daughter did love me at some point not because of the things I bought her but for the actions I did for her. The cuddle, the look and the love we share through young age of hers.
To my child, my daughter I have this beautiful message for you as I know you are watching me so far away to see if I am still ok. Still to this day getting calls without no message as I understand you are not ready to admit and face me. Yes I am ok and I hope regardless of the pass you are ok. My love to you will never remove what you did but I’ve learned over the years to forget and forgive so I can be happy again in my lifetime until my journey end.
My conscious is at peace as I have tried for so many years to give you what you need to. I failed you in some way due to my choices of life I hope you are on the right path now weather you don’t want to face the true or not. Life is not about living in the pass but to accept what is in front of you. I forgive you and I love you.
As for my mom who is also watching me not knowing why I cut the bridge for the wrong reason which my own daughter has reflected through our own negativity over the years and build up through my bad choices of life which I should have move on long time ago from our relationship cost me so many things in my life. I don’t hate you and even though you will have someone translating I hope you find peace with yourself as I forgive you.
You might now understand my choices but I have tried for so many years over and over so I don’t have to have the what if. But it just didn’t work and that day as much as it break my heart I had to let it go because it was just not working but destroying my relationship with my own daughter.
I don’t live anymore to be surrounded by fake people and be with fake people just because it’s your own blood. That has destroyed me and now I get it. Family is not by blood but by anyone who cares and love you no matter what for the person you are. Life is too short and there is no point to battle this thinking tomorrow it will be better.
I don’t live with guilt but in the true of life from day to day and I am happy regardless from people who are watching me from far away and having an opinion that I am wrong. We all have our story from bad to good but life is too short to continue to battle something so negative where you can be still devastating by the past. I don’t live in the past and I don’t have any regret.
I am so happy to see still to this day moms and daughter from the love they are sharing and the beauty that surround them. I wish to all of them HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.
I could have pick another subject to talk about but we are call mom for a reason, we have given the chance by God to be the teacher, the guidance, the difference we can make for that new person coming into this world which one day that same person will impact so many lives.
Mom is just a title but at the end of the day we are guardian with a mission to make a difference for the people who surround us. Life comes in full circle and again over and over we only hope our planet will have more good then bad.
Never give up and always believe because life always come to a full circle and no matter what you encounter in life sometimes you have to be selfish so you don’t loose your insanity over something that is bigger then you.
This journey has tough me many things and I am so blessed to this day. Would I do anything different; maybe but to this day I am the person I am because of my past and every day I am better then I was yesterday.
Let them judge you, criticises you; let them see who you are – no matter what always stay true to yourself because there is one person who will always be there for you and it’s GOD!
Sincerely
Julie Kenk
