March 2, 2026 | 5:51 AM
Today I woke up very early to pack because I’m heading to Bohol. As I was getting ready, I stumbled upon an old notebook containing a little diary I used to keep on my tablet. Reading it made me want to write again, if only to say that I finally feel like I am moving on.
I’m not hurting the way I used to. I think the movies I watched with my friend really helped. I cried, I yearned, I let myself feel every single thing. I broke down, I drank, and while sitting with all those heavy emotions, a realization hit me: no matter how much I cry silently, or how deeply I grieve, it won't reach you. You aren't coming back.
For a long time, I beat myself up. I kept thinking, it’s been several years and I’m still like this. I felt like I hadn't made a single bit of progress. I questioned whether I’d always be trapped by your memories, stuck in a relentless cycle of pain. But lately, the thoughts of you have faded. I should be happy about that, even if you still occasionally pop into my head. Maybe I was just so used to thinking about you that it became a habit.
This time, though, it feels different. I feel like I’m truly going to forget you soon or at least, hide you away so deeply that you no longer ache. The thought of loving again has actually crossed my mind recently. I guess I’m finally maturing emotionally. Even if deep down I still feel like a coward who wants to hide away, I know I need to be strong, both emotionally and physically.
I wonder if I’ll ever stop writing. I realized today how nice it is to look back at these entries. It gives me a glimpse into a past self I can no longer fully remember. Even if I can't visualize exactly what I was doing at that moment, the thoughts and feelings are perfectly preserved.
Anyway, it's time to start my day. I'm going to clean my room, tidy everything up, and finish preparing for Bohol. Safe travels to me. Hopefully, this will be a good getaway from everything a true adventure.