GUY 1: Why can't we skip rope without society judging us? GUY 2: What if we occasionally beat the crap out of each other? Boxing is born. You give great word of mouth When co-workers ask if the photos

[OC] What does a blind pessimist say? ""What glass?"" A wife went with her husband to his doctors appointment... Doctor: I'm gonna need a urine and stool sample. Wife (to husband): Just give him your underwear

Did you hear about the truck full of blueberries that crashed on the highway? It caused a traffic jam. When it comes to stalking, I'm right behind you. What food, when consumed by a female, causes a complete

Feeling sick at work. Subway to the bus-$5 Bus to commuter lot-$2 Puking in my car-$0 Guy in the car next to me puking in response-priceless Man in fatigues w SONY written on his forehead has handcuffed

It's my mate's birthday today. He doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or cheat on his missus. We've got no idea how to celebrate it. [4 strangers are smearing their bodily fluids on each other] [one turns to

I have just filmed my girlfriend using her toes to wank me off. Nice bit of footage. The Worst Striker by Mr Goal Before encouraging everyone to ""do whatever makes you happy,"" ask if anyone is a sadist.

Why was the Energizer Bunny tried in court? He was charged with battery. What's the difference between a lesbian and a vacuum cleaner? One is great with a carpet, the other one sucks my dick. The porn

My girlfriend of 8 years recently told me she used to be a man This actually itsn't a joke I just had to get it off my chest. I'm heartbroken, what should I do? What do you call a nun that works for your

Look, mom, we can keep arguing about whether or not 28 is too old to live your parents but it's not gonna help us find my iguana any faster. Why did the console player cross the road? Because fuck you

What did the right ball say to the left ball? Dont talk to the guy in the middle he's a dick What do you call a tube with a degree? A graduated cylinder. What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing zone in a swimming pool. At my soccer game, the referee looked a lot like Edward Snowden... What a whistle blower. Thank you, U.S. Senate.

Running a custard factory has its challenges You really go through thick and thin. why couldn't the rabbi eat out during passover? His girlfriend had a yeast infection Hubby has an alarm app where you

A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gave it to her. Two red blood cells met and fell in love but alas, it was in vein. For people who say ""nothing is impossible"",

Whats the difference between two dicks and a joke? Your Mom can't take a joke. Hello? Is the Communist Party here? Delete my subscription. I just won the lottery. How do you find an old man in the dark?

I keep pushing the potato button on the microwave, but alas, no potato. :( What do you call the chicken between the chicken thigh and the chicken wing? The chicken butt That one about the three helium

How does an Old lady vagina feel? ever fed a pony? Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the referee calling fowls What does baby computer call his father? Data. What do you call a

Whiteboards are remarkable What did the first cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Does this taste funny to you? 2 blondes were walking along a beach when one said, ""Look! A dead

Today is Sigmund Freud's birthday Which reminds me, Mother's Day is this weekend. No one has 99 problems. That's so many problems. I lost my mood ring... And I'm not sure how I should feel about it. If

What do you need when you're not doing well in your Advanced Placement U.S. History class? A Push What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom? A swipe and wipe. How do you know if you have

Yo momma so fat the last time she went swimming she chewed a divers foot and they closed down sea world. A terrorist walks into a pet store and says ""You have 5 minutes to get out of here...I'm going