Many people talk about procrastination as if it were a bad habit or behavior they could not stop, but this is not the case. Fear can cause procrastination, but not always, and only 30 to 50% of the time.
For example, when people write exams, whether they believe they performed well or not, they are always hesitant to check the results, and they come up with numerous reasons to delay doing so.
They are not procrastinating like they think; they are simply afraid of the unknown. There is bliss in not knowing information that will cause mental distress, which is why we say ignorance is bliss.
Ignorance is not necessarily bliss; it simply places us in a state of unknown, which means that nothing burdens the heart.
My trip to the hospital was unpleasant, which was most likely due to my uncertainty about the outcome of my test results. I have been taking this new medication for my anemia, heart, and kidneys, and I know it is not as good as previous brands.
I searched everywhere for the previous brand that worked wonders, but I could not find it. Because of the state of the Nigerian economy, it is always difficult to import high-quality medications without embargoes and complications, making it difficult to obtain the regular medications that work for me.
I would not call the current one a disaster, but it is so bad that I can not even recognize my numbers. In May, my numbers were looking good, and I was always eager to get my blood tests done; however, a newer brand of medication was used, and the test results did not look good.
I was thinking that this might be the outcome because I do not think changing brands of generic medications would be ideal for me, but only the test will tell.
So I procrastinated for far too long because I was unsure about my new medication, and it turns out that my fears were justified after all.
The problem is that I ordered medication that did not work well before going for these tests, and it cost a lot of money; now I will have to start looking for new medications that stabilize my vitals and keep them good, and I will have to spend an extra fortune; so, my fears were justified, and one thing else; not checking my numbers earlier cost me a lot of money, which I could have avoided if I had decided to face my fears.
Unfortunately, that is what it is.
It was one of those bad days that was unavoidable, and as the day progressed, I learned one important lesson: fear is not open-ended, it is not direct, and sometimes the things we fear are not even consequential enough; it is what we do not know will happen as a result of fear that is often the most dangerous.
I had the opportunity to purchase the medication from an online vendor in the east, but I was afraid they would take my money without delivering the product. Their physical store was several states away, and I could not have gotten them even if they had cheated me.
I had this fear when I wanted to buy my first medication online, but because I needed it so badly, I decided that it was either I trusted them or not.
However, I will not say that my fear was unfounded.
I was afraid of being duped because I did not have much to lose to scammers, but I trusted another brand of medication that I could get around, hoping it would do the job. Unfortunately, it didn't, and I trusted the medication for three months, paying more than 40% more than I should have if I would gone with the brand I was familiar with.
So I lost money and time, and the medication did not work. I am currently concerned about the results of my other comprehensive tests, as the medication has not worked and has kept me agitated and frustrated, essentially ruining my day.
Of course, I had some small victories when I received the medication that had worked earlier in March and April. Unfortunately, this is what happens when you buy a highly sought-after medication.
It is not that I did not do my best; it is just that I did not make the right decision, and we should not make mistakes when there is so much at stake. Unfortunately, I did not realize this in time, which cost me. I really hope I can find where I can get my original medication because I am dissatisfied with the numbers on my test results; they went from looking excellent to looking terrible, and seeing a relapse is painful.
It is already been a frustrating day, and I am hoping to find a way, and I am praying that God will provide one.
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