The Reasons Why I've Been Inactive For A While Now.

It's no news I've been going to the hospital, and yesterday, I've been going to more hospitals as well. This previous week alone, I've been in more hospitals, than I've ever been in 20 years. It's not really what I expected, the Major tests and chest x-rays I've done have given me sleepless nights and for three days, I've never been so troubled or restless like these past few days.

However, I want to do some other assessment in this coming week and this will probably be the verdict I'll be holding on to. For now, I want to believe the storm is raging in my life in all corners, it's one thing to be bothered about one aspect of life, but it's another thing to be faced with multiple challenges from all angles. Seeking Google's expertise on my current situation has been the most terrible thing I've done, but who could it have been?

The general hospital is a terrible place to rely on unless you want anxiety to be the end of you. I've been seeking medical help, and unless it gets to that time where I'll begin to seek external help (I hope not) I want to remain calm and begin to work on the medical issues I have at hand. I might be paranoid, but I truly got help, I got help when I went seeking it, and with time, I will talk about this.

I left home yesterday feeling like it was the end of the world, and it probably affected my breathing pattern. Sometimes the imagination of what one's medical problems are can be bigger than the altruistic manifestation is. But I don't want to be sentimental, one more test assessment, and then I'll know what I'm fighting.

My brother's passing really took a toll on me, so much so that I was beginning to question the genetic pathology of the family. I've always been very vocal about my family here, and one of the reasons why I do so is to raise awareness.

The first is an awareness that there's nothing as important in the life of a person when the family as the first agent of socialization is properly functional, knowledgeable, and sound in raising children, however, what's done is done and the saddest part is that one's only human, and changing the core of our existence is one power that we can never have.

It was not enough that I was fighting some battles already, and it's why I began to question the logic behind the way life works. However, life is not a sentimental place. No matter how we cry or express pain, it doesn't mean that life will decide to be considerate, however, I feel that at the height of everything, there's God who silently listens, through the turmoil and the tempest. In turbulent and problematic situations, and sometimes He listens, He knows, and this is what I'm holding on to.

So before I feel that I'm irreparable, and my medical situation is beyond restoration, I want to give it all. I know I'm vague at the moment but in time.