I had a friend come over to the house some weeks back, she was 27 and looking for something that could lead to marriage. She was asking me if I'd like to have twins, and that they're adorable, I told her twins meant more expenses and if I could share a child with my male friends in other to cut costs, that I would, she looked at me with a weird face.
People think babies are cute, but the only thing those damn suckers know how to do is to cry, drink milk, and poop. They're not responsible for making money. Now back to my friend, I knew she had many suitors already but she was looking for a tall dark handsome man, with a broad chest and a charming smile. He probably has to be in his early 30s.
I didn't forget to add that she wanted an innovative man, one that could doesn't necessarily need to be rich, but his future probably needs to be bright, or at least, the guy needs to have a light at the end of his tunnel. I checked to see if I was half of what this lady wanted and I discovered I wasn't.
I wasn't tall, dark, or handsome, I was this lanky dude who doesn't even know what was up, I hardly smile unless you flash or tuck some currency into my pocket. I'm not sure if there's light at the end of my tunnel, I'm just happy to wake up, eat and hustle. The reality is, sometimes when it comes to marriage, people raise their standards to a confusing level. They want Mia Khalifa with the personality of Don Moen.
You'll hear things like "I want him to be a billionaire" but he must be at home making me breakfast and kissing my neck" it's ridiculous how a man can be a billionaire and a chef at the same time. I'm not a romantic person, maybe it's why I think it's stupid when people tell me the ridiculous things they want from the opposite sex.
A friend of mine was telling me he wants a girl with big buttocks (yansh), she must have a flat stomach, a fine, sweet face, and a smile that can cure cancer and she must be respectful, god-fearing and willing to make her own money and must love him to the core. I laughed so hard because I'd never heard anything so ridiculous.
I told him every girl with a massive derriere is on TikTok flashing their goodies. I mean the value men attach to buttocks is profound. Some men would say, boobs are what they want, and these conversations irk me so much it makes me feel like the value we attach to these things is why people spend money trying to enhance their bodies.
However, people have their fetish, and I'm categorically telling you that we cannot have everything we crave in one human being unless people are allowed to mold their partner with clay and breathe into them. The reason is, people are imperfect and unique in their way. The person with the big curves might be proud and a terrible cook. The tall handsome dude might be a cheat and golddigger.
These days I kind of feel people allow their physical enablements to define their personalities. This is to say, there are reasons we like and dislike people. Some people can hate the soul of a person but like their physical charm. Love is a sick bastard if it were a human being because people act irrationally especially when they're attracted to what they can see.
(I don't want to make this post an 18+, because that's not who I am and secondly 7 years olds are now on the blockchain). This isn't to say people shouldn't be attracted to things. What I think people do is want to eat their cake and have it. I've heard people say not all beautiful people are proud or disrespectful, but majorly 90% of them are. This is because they're used to people dying to have or please them.
I know a lady who used to come to my house during covid, she was pretty and elegant. So whenever she came she would expect me to open the door for her. I told her that if she cannot open the door, she can build a house by the door and wait. Men would always fall at her feet and do her bidding, but this wasn't me.
She was surprised at how her whims couldn't work with me. It was proof that beautiful people can get overly nasty and develop bad attitudes. So because of this, I'm not the spec type of guy, I won't want to be a slave to a curvy backside or a pointed trafficator. It's why people stay in toxic relationships, they say it's sweet and bitter at the same time.
I do believe people are weird. Some of the things we want are laughable especially when we begin to speak them loud. When I was younger, maybe 19 there was this lady who nearly turned me into her personal slave, how she took control of my life was inexplicable. I think it had to be love charm, yes it had to be... because no one should be that stupid. I imagined everything I did all because of physical attraction.
Anytime I remembered her face, I nearly gave away all my salary. But I'm not that guy anymore, I think there are people who are still slaves to physically attraction. It's funny how these people messes them up and they still go back and settle for those people they're not attracted to. Life can be a straight road, why turn it to Britain has got talent?
Interested in some more of my works?