I was talking to a friend yesterday, the call was supposed to be a business conversation, but somehow it escalated into something else.
This person was bragging about having many women in his life, and how his ex was begging him to get back with her; he probably saw it as a flex, and what he did not realize was that I was not that guy anymore; I can not hold such conversations anymore, not because of my newfound faith, but because I have multiple responsibilities that must be met, and every second I waste in a day has consequences.
This is probably why I no longer have "off" time. I'm constantly on the grind, seeking for ways to pay the bills.
I occasionally watch a football game, but most of the time I do not have time to catch my breath, and most of the time, I am too preoccupied with thinking about filling my next meds, going to the hospital, worrying about my mental health and the anxieties that come with it, and sometimes, just a minute of daydreaming about another life where I do not have to be so stressed is the only simple pleasure I enjoy.
Some people, like the person I mentioned, enjoy conversing about the opposite sex because it entertains and thrills them, and they find satisfaction in it.
This feeling happens with a lot of unmarried people. Without marriage people imagine how married life would be life.
Imagination is the death of reality
They imagine meeting a handsome and wealthy man or a beautiful woman with many attributes and living happily ever after. Unfortunately, marriage is not like that.
Love is a fairy tale concept, and this is because what most people feel in the name of love is simply the desire for explorative lust.
This is why many marriages fail; people do not expect it to be so difficult, they do not prepare for all of the problems that come with it; they expect to have sex and then go on vacation, spend time in each other's arms, and so on, but marriage is a different kettle of fish.
Obviously, it is always greener on the other side, and we prefer to be in places where we are not. This is why many unmarried people underestimate what marriage entails. They only need to find the right man or woman, and that is it.
However, you tend to realize that marriage is like a full-time job. It is not like talking on the phone with a man or woman, sending poems and "texts," or purchasing birthday presents.
This is what we see on social media. We never see people's struggles offline because no one wants to admit or discuss their fears and pain, which is why people do not fully understand the stress and responsibilities that come with marriage.
This is not to say that there are not fairy tale stories about people finding the love of their lives; I am talking about financial difficulties, coping with someone, tolerating their excesses, living with their shenanigans, and accepting that you will have to live with it for the rest of your life.
In fact, some people divorce because they believe they can no longer cope, and we fail to recognize that marriage tests people's emotional resolve. It comes with stress, particularly when raising children, paying unexpected bills, and so on.
I understand that being wealthy can solve more than half of the problems associated with marriage, but the point is that people associate being married with a fiery tale, or simply having a fiance become a husband, and so on.
Sometimes it is the desire for social approval. People watch videos of couples living happy lives and begin to crave these things, which leads to unrealistic marriage expectations that can be dangerous.
Most marital experiences depicted in movies have been embellished to heighten emotions. Take a look at Korean TV shows; the ones about love are so fabricated and augmented that a regular viewer would believe that every Korean man or woman is a lover boy or girl.
Welcome to life
People do not learn unless they experience it firsthand. Wonder why people are taught in schools using examples, figures, assumptions, and so on, when these assumptions, while not true, are actually close to what happens in real life.
For example, maths has a lot of unrealistic examples and somehow because people cannot relate, it becomes harder to learn. We learn from the angle of relativity. When something is not relatable, we do not truly learn. Everyone eventually learns.
The fact that we all have to learn different things makes life a little unfair, but that is the spice of life; after all, living in the bliss of ignorance can make life very worthwhile.
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