One of the mistakes I made in my early 20s was not recognizing my strongest support system, not understanding the difference better between a colleague and a potential friend, or distinguishing between individual growth and collective growth.
Some people want to use you to meet up with their goals in life and there are others who you equally want to use to achieve the same goal. While this phenomenon seems a bit self-centered, it's how life works.
some wealthy people are often keen to use hardworking people to propel themselves to life's highest pinnacle and dump these people afterward.
While these people are relying on the money they'll be paid, for the services they've rendered as the reward for labor, they don't know that they've been swindled of their time, innovation, and effort, and they can never truly be paid back. It's one of life's harshest realities.
Winning Or Losing The Game Of Bargain
At one point in time, some people would take advantage of our neediness to underpay us, because they feel that giving us the right dues for the efforts we've given will reduce their take-home.
Life is a business transaction no matter how differently we see it. Sometimes, we win in our bargain to get more value, sometimes, we completely lose out.
Everything we do is completely transactional
.......even when we enter unconditional unions with people, deep down somewhere, there's something we're aiming to gain.
One of the reasons why business or regular human relationships fall out is because the intent of one person is not directly proportional to the intent of the other person.
This is why we should genuinely look at intent. One of the things I never fear is losing people and the prospects I stand to gain with them, the reason is that, in whatever transactional relationship I aim to build, I hate to be the only one to win.
losing people who aim to win alone is always something I relish.
People fail to understand the basic principles of life. No matter how unconditional a human relationship is, always remember that when exchangeable values are proportional, such a relationship is bound to last longer.
There's nothing free in life, and this isn't our fault. As humans, we're built to be dependent, however, it's sad to see that greed and over-ambitiousness are why some people want to be dependent but do not want others to be equally dependent on them.
I was like this when I was younger, and when I grew older, I came to understand that the reason why I was like that was because I felt there wasn't anything I had that I could give to those who had given me everything.
In life, being broke creates the illusion of powerlessness
When people are broke, young, or ill, they believe they cannot offer anything, because they're currently incapable of rendering anything. A lot of people are in this frame of mind. They feel it's normal for them to be dependent on people, and they don't want to do the same.
A Genuine Transactional Relationship Reflects The Achievement Of The Parties Involved
When I was younger, a certain employer wouldn't employ me, but they employed my boss from my old establishment. However, my boss had to pull some strings for me to be employed even when I wasn't qualified, he stood as guarantor for me and paid 10% of my salary.
However, I was young and reckless and underappreciated his sacrifices for me, I failed to be readily available when he needed me because I felt there was nothing I could give.
I failed to understand that this man was no longer my boss, he became more than a friend. He wanted to establish a genuine relationship where we could collectively win, but I blew it.
I never really understood the magnitude of what I lost, until I grew older and met a lot of people in life.
Till today, I have tried to renew that relationship again, but the man in question wouldn't let me. It's difficult for me to explain to him, that I'm a more better person than I was 10 years ago. Why?
When a relationship built on genuinety is severed, it's difficult to rebuild.
It's generally difficult to build things that will stand the test of time, and it's even more difficult to repair when something is broken.
No matter the sentiment we hold, life is transactional and there are people who want to only use you to build themselves, you're more like a stepping stone to their greater goal and if you cannot help them achieve this goal anymore, then you become surplus to requirement.
Man's Default Nature
It's not about being wicked, this is man's default nature, except we choose to act against our instincts and become better. In the school of life, some people have attained the experiential knowledge to understand that it doesn't pay to always succumb to instincts like greed or survival syndrome.
These are the people who understand that being transactional is not bad, it's essential, but we have to establish unconditionality in our bid to be transactional, or else life itself becomes a cocoon of selfishness.
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