"Where am I?".
"Am I dead already?".
"What is this place"?.I asked rhetorically.
It was dark and lonely, the only source of light by which I could see was a bright white light at the end of the tunnel I found myself.
My hands were shaking and my body seemed too heavy for my legs yet an unseen force kept drawing me towards the light.
As I was drawn slowly to the light, I remembered how quickly my life went from being 'Gloria, Righteous and pure' to 'Gloria, impure and defiled'.
My mum had many times like a noisy alarm clock, screamed in my ears that I beware of evil company because you could say I was well endowed by God physically, and I heeded her instructions until I got into the university.
They said it was just a birthday party, and though they were dressed shabbily, it didn't occur to me that it was a set-up; the Devil's snare against my soul.
Immediately, we entered, I became uncomfortable with all I saw and heard but somehow I could not leave the venue.
Loud blaring music, coloured lights everywhere, gibberish shouts from all corners, I was sitting alone when he quietly approached me, he said he noticed I wasn't okay, and it was so sweet of him to offer me water.
Little did I know he spiked the drink and in a few seconds, I blacked out. I woke up in a car outside the house and I knew I had been touched and defiled.
I couldn't bear the guilt, my friends didn't seem to see it as a big deal, until I got pregnant. They all deserted me in an instant, their lines were all switched off, busy or they did not pick. They didn't want to be tagged "Unrighteous" so they fled.
I couldn't bear the shame, everyone on campus knew me as Mummy G.O., it would be a stain to me and to the Kingdom of God. So I had the pregnancy aborted and I continued living my "righteous" life. I told my friend's I had a miscarriage and they all took it as the Lord's mercy upon my Life.
I had hidden this in the core of my heart for the past years. I was happily married and heavily pregnant when he showed up, YES, HIM, the man that raped me, asking me to give him money or else he'd release certain photos of us online. I tried all I could to silence him; my husband was Pastoring a church so I tried to fulfil all demands to keep it hidden.
I stole money to pay him, I satisfied him sexually even whilst I was pregnant and many other diabolical things but it was only a matter of time before my husband found out.
My frequent outings and withdrawal of huge sums of cash blew my cover but he never said anything about his findings. When I summoned the courage to confess all I'd done because I couldn't talk it anymore, he was unfazed,
"I found out about your affair two weeks ago and I have forgiven you, it's okay".
"We would have to apprehend that man for blackmailing you!"
I couldn't believe my ears.
"How could a man know all these including another man banging his wife in her pregnant state and yet say nothing?".
I was scared of my bone marrow. "What kind of man did I get married to?"
I had expected him to flare up yet he was so calm. Out of guilt, I took a knife and slit my wrist. I wanted to just end it and die; such a good man did not deserve a woman like me.
I thought I was going to die when I got to the light, so I hastened my steps only to enter the light and I began hearing men speaking gibberish and I could faintly see men in white coats. I knew I had returned to earth.
I was granted another chance. I didn't deserve it but I got it. It was only a matter of time before my deeds caught up with me and so it will be for you if your deeds are evil.
You may not get a second chance like I did. I believe I got a second chance to tell you this story.
