For The Twenty-Something Singles | by Jong CL

One should understand that there really is no timeline in life. That at a certain age, this is where you should be. Screw that.

Society wired us to think that way, so now we have difficulty thinking of a better one. It’s hard to go away with it. However, now more than ever, with all the advancements and technology, we can change the status quo we seem to live in. We can change the seemingly "backward thinking" of the generation that came before us.

See, we all have different roads we ought to take, so comparisons are of no use, it actually just makes matters worse. You cannot be your friend and your friend cannot be you. SO WHY COMPARE? Should you want to compare, then compare yourself to the past version of YOU. Yes, you-- the one reading this. Then you will find that you have so many victories to celebrate-- you have come a long way to be where you are right now. Tap yourself at the back for all the silent battles you fought and won, darling.

See, just because the world is telling you this and that doesn’t necessarily mean that you should give in to what it dictates you to do. I know, it is hard, especially when our society glamorizes weddings and marriages in movies and in advertisements. Unconsciously (and subconsciously), we single people tend to ask, "Is there something wrong with me?" I hate to answer you upfront but THERE REALLY IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. YOU. ARE. DOING. FINE.

See, just because friends your age are in relationships or are getting married or are having babies or are having their own families doesn’t necessarily mean you also should be doing the same.

See, there is nothing wrong with being single, with being different, with being true to yourself and with being the person you’re comfortable with. What if it’s not what the world wants? So? It’s never about them anyway. It’s about you at ease with your own skin and not minding what others are thinking or saying. In the end, it’s about you and your choices. It’s about you and your Maker. It’s never going to be about you and the world.

See, there is nothing wrong with being single.

See, it’s perfectly fine to take your time. Go and date yourself, enjoy your own company. Be your own best friend. Be your gentlest realistic critic and your crazily loud optimistic cheerleader. Know what you like and don’t. In the process, be gentle with yourself. You deserve love as much as others do.

To you dear single person:
Fall in love—madly—with the stars, the moon, the children's laughter, the smell of Earth after rain, the way the waves never stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it got sent away^, the flowers, the sunset, the sunrise, the beach, with your job/career, your family, friends, and especially, with you, darling. You deserve your love, too. You may think you are unloveable because of the scars which are unhealed, but deep within the core of your being, you are loveable, you are loved, and you deserve this love. You do. Period. No debates.

See, don’t give in to the pressure of the world. There are lots, that’s for sure. Relax. Trust the timing of your life. Trust that God listens to your prayers. Trust that He wants what’s best for you, that’s why He wants you to wait. And in waiting, you’ll learn vital life lessons you shouldn’t have learned had you rushed. In a world where instant and fast are all you can hear about here and there, it’s not wrong to take things slow. To pause. Breathe. Be in the moment.

See, instead of trying so hard to “un-single” yourself because of all that pressure, why not take this time to make yourself a priority? Use the liberty to your advantage. Cross off some things on your bucket list.

Travel someplace neat. Read a book. Or books. Write poems. Scribble the stories of the secret lives of people so busy with their day, as you sit on that café, sipping your dark mocha frappucino on a hot summer day, watching the world go on, and you being this unbothered single happy soul in all this chaos. Dance in the rain and toss that umbrella. Fall in love with cold nights and warm beds and your homemade coffee. Make a wish at 11:11. Pray in churches, in temples. Pray with your heart and whisper your heart's desires to your Mighty Creator. Enjoy being this single to your core. Grow and be that person you always want to be, because who knows when you’ll be this single again, right?

See, there really is no timeline, there’s just God who knows you better than the world does. And timelines are man-made, temporary and fleeting, your Maker isn’t.

So what if you’re single? So what if you’re not meeting others’ expectations? So what if you’re on a road less travelled? The questions are endless. So what? Don’t let it get into you. As long as you know your purpose and you know you have God in you, you have all you need. And you’re on the right track.

Keep moving. Keep the faith, be busy running your own race, and everything else will fall into place.

Originally posted here: For the Twenty-something Singles but I have added more content, since I wrote this 2017, and the 2021 version of me knows a little better than my 2017 version. *wink, wink 🥰