It was my third year of university (which was only 2 years ago). The boys and I gathered up to head to a local bar in Niagara, Ontario, Canada. To be more specific the bar is in St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada. A small town on the outskirts of Niagara Falls Canada. This pub/bar/pretty-much brothel is actually Canada's oldest registered bar, The Mansion House. A shit hole local establishment College kids go to on Wednesdays to get absolute demolished on shitty $2.00 beers. It's fun as hell.
And remember, we were in college. We weren't trying to booze an expensive bottle of wine. You can barely pay for you're cable bill. Unless, you were like my friends and I; going to the casino 4-5 days a week, baked out of our faces, putting all we've got on blackjack, sometimes winning, sometimes losing. Regardless, having an extra $100.00 we could buy booze and darts with. We usually just went to the world renowned strip club in Niagara Falls, The SunDowner ( we called it The CumDowner) after we left up at chino and we'd blow all our money on lap dances. It's blatantly idiotic thinking about it now, but hey, if it wasn't for those times, I wouldn't be here able to tell these stories.
Back to my experiential sexual story. So we have a pre-drink, all my friends are dabbling into the devils dandruff (if you don't know what it means, you're probably too young to be reading this article) and you know when people get into that stuff, everyone becomes a tweaker. Tweaking - screaming at each other about nothing. Fighting over who scored the last goal in the game. Just pointless shit lol. I was so baked all the time I would just laugh. Everyone is fucking cranked. We're having a great time. We called a speedy (an illegitimate taxi we used to take because it was inexpensive) to the bar, in which you could pay these guys in food, dope or booze.. And money of course, but they didn't really give a fuck. Imagine an UBER where you could pay with big macs.. Potential Innovation?
We arrive to the bar, I can barely see at this point.. Mostly because, I'm consumed half of a 26er of Captain Morgan Spice Rum, I've taken 3 Adderalls(Don't worry they were prescribed to me by my doctor) and puffed enough herb to cripple new born baby triplets. I'm downing shots of Tequila, drinking mixed drinks. Everything you could imagine. I'm absolutely mucked. And like many drinkers who go to the bar, smoking cigarettes like a new born drinks breast milks, I can't get enough. I'm bonding with this one guy and he pulls out a doobie so we're puffing it in the smokers section and these two pretty good looking girls walk up to me and ask me: " Are you Jone?". So I give them a cocky as response saying " Oh, Fuck Yeah. " Mostly because I was absolutely donezo. They immediately laugh and I could just get the vibe they were feeling me. You know when girls just give you that smile. If you've been there you fucking know it.
So we're chatting for 5 or 10 mins. We all smoke the joint and buddy beside kind of starts to hit on one and she's not feeling him, so he leaves. Immediately after he leaves, the one girl, Kristen, straight up looks at me and smiles and says: "we should have a three sum tonight!" I exhale my dart and I am coughing because I am truly in disbelief. I thought the booze had hit me so fucking hard that I was hallucinating. And I responded saying "ThreeSum?" She replies: "Yes." I tell them: "''LET'S FUCKINN GOOOO!!"" (We said that after every other sentence that summer.)
We hopped into a cab. The guy is an absolute beauty from Jamaica playing Dancehall and Reggae music. We're all jammin' and he's asking me about these two girls. I told him it was going down. We arrive to my house and I pay with my debit card. I remember it was $16.00 or something he charged. I did wake up in the morning and checked my receipt it only said $0.16 Cents.. The guy accidentally only charged me for sixteen cents lol. I still owe ya for that one buddy.
I walk downstairs and direct the girls to my room. I look in my living room, All my buddies are looking at me with this happy and unusual grin, then whispering " Dude, Are you having a three sum?" and I whisper back " I think so boys". The boys we're pumped as shit.
I hobbled into my room and the two girls are sitting on my bed with their tops off. Immediately they take off my pants. Let's just say it's like two girls fighting over a bubble-gum flavoured Lollipop. I "go" the least hotter one, then I saved the best for last. It was one of the best 12 minute experiences of my life. However, halfway through, the hotter one left and seemed upset. The other one probably would have gone for atleast 2 days straight, no joke.
After running low on stamina, I had to recharge with some pot and a cold soda. I went to the living room and heard the one girl crying on my stair case. I go up there to comfort her and asked her: "What's wrong?" she responds saying "I have a boyfriend" Me:"A BOYFRIEND! "And remember I just met these two girls an hour before that. All I knew was two things. Girl One and Girl Two. And the one who pitched the 3-way was the one with the boyfriend! Who can you trust right?
As she keeps talking. All she does is cry. I start getting compassionate and I'm hugging her, comforting her and I say somethings along the lines of: "Look, what's done is done. You're a beautiful and amazing girl, and I truly think you've got a lot of potential ahead of you. Yourself, your friend and I just shared an amazing passionate moment. We all made sweet love. You changed my life forever and I will never forget you." It was pretty much some shit from "The Notebook". But it was genuine because she really did change my life in a fantasy-infused way. She looked at me and smiled and tried to make out with me. Then I just reminded her she had a boyfriend. She still tried to cheat again? What the fuck right?!
The fucked up part about this whole story is that these girls were barely even drunk. They seemed sober.
The even more fucked up thing about this was that the girl who was crying, her boyfriend came and picked up her friend 10 minutes later. She called me the next week and I ignored her call even though I wouldn't have minded round two..
What's done is done.
No joke. I was so fucking high on life and feeling so confident from what had happened, I had another three sum two days later. I had sex with 4 separate girls in 1 week.
This shit actually happened. It could happen to you too.
Thanks for reading.
