Hello beautiful people, this writeup is for everyone, but most Especially CHURCH GIRLS in campus.
Just as I always advise my younger friends in their late teens and early twenties (21 to 25 years) to avoid romantic relationships as much as they can because it's helpful.
It's an unpopular piece of advice. I give it when asked, and sometimes unsolicited, depending on how close I am to the person. Do they always take it? No. Am I always right? Seven times out ten, especially for the ladies, I am.
Though this also applies to young men, my main target is young women, especially those who wish to build a career.
your late teen years and twenties are for discovering and learning about yourself; setting up the building blocks for your foreseeable future, exploring and finding out how and where you fit in this chaotic world.
It is not the time to give your heart to someone, especially with no concrete plan in sight. It is not for acquiring needless emotional and psychological trauma and injuries that take forever to heal.
Not because you can’t do both side by side—humans have incredible adaptive abilities—but because it is better to do the figuring out without the distraction of romantic and sexual issues.
Whether you like it or not, you're still doing a lot of growing in that age bracket. There's so much you're yet to acquire - in wisdom, knowledge, skills, and maturity - and so much about matters of the heart that you're not yet equipped to handle.
That age bracket in this part of the world, is still largely dependent on parents and guardians, and are still in school.
Speaking of school, if you’re a young girl in your late teens and early twenties, and you’re in the university fellowship—whether CASOR, SUCF, RCF, SCM, JCCF etc or a church fellowship, I need you to read this very carefully.
If you're in a relationship with your fellowship pastor or brother and you cook, do domestic chores, and serve him, I want you to stop that foolishness right now!
You were sent to school to study, and not to become an amorous domestic staff to your fellow student.
I've been permitted to share this excerpt of the initial conversation I had with a younger friend (19 years old) whom I wrenched from the jaws of such a useless relationship.
"Ma, we're both in the same fellowship and he's one of the leaders. He's in his fourth year and I'm in my second year. When he asked me out, he said he was attracted to me because I was serious in the things of God. I do come to fellowship every Sunday, clean the venue and help in other things.
He didn't want me to tell anyone about us but I think that they know, as I do cook for him and take to his hostel before he moved off campus. He convinced me to let us have sex. I was a virgin and wanted to wait until we marry but he said we're already married in the eyes of God because we've promised to marry ourselves.
After then, he started shouting at me, abusing me and graduated to beating me. He stopped me from having friends - he said that God has called him to be a pastor and as the future wife of a pastor I'm not meant to be friends with everyone.
I can't laugh or talk freely with other people. If I argue or disagree with him, he will say that I'm stubborn and I don't have what it takes to be a pastor's wife. That he can leave me at any time, after all see the way I easily slept with him, that I can sleep with anyone."
Look, if you're in the kind of situation above, end that foolishness today. If you don't know how to end it, send me a message and I'll tell you how. If push comes to shove, we'll involve the police just like I did in the above case.
I want you to grow, learn, be better and ready for the future. To do this, you need to FOCUS.
FOCUS is a priceless commodity that’s very difficult to retain in today’s world. It is harder when you’re constantly distracted with figuring out a relationship with another person, let alone one that's filled with abuse.
You must be RUTHLESS about keeping your focus. There's so much to do and time is going. Don't waste it getting consumed with why he's refused to buy you the latest iPhone or where you're going to get 200 grand to give her so she can throw a birthday party to pepper her friends or being scared that he's sleeping with other girls or worrying that she'll leave you at graduation for someone with more means.
You're not too young to be an entrepreneur. You're not too young to innovate or own a startup, get and hold down a vacation job, learn a useful skill and make money.
Be ruthless. FOCUS.
If someone comes and tells you that many have done it and it worked, laugh first. Remember that exceptions aren't the rule. Then shift aside and FOCUS.
you're reading from your handsome friend John Petra.
Peace 🕊️ and love 💕!