― Sigmund Freud, The Uncanny
Sully is surly. He owns the only men’s shop in Willow Grove and you’d think he’d at least be civil—but, he isn’t.
The other day, Bill Clinton walks in—not the Bill Clinton, but William Hitchcock Clinton, our town’s only lawyer. He needs a new suit for a high profile case he’s working on and makes the mistake of approaching Sully.
“Hey Sully,” he says, real friendly, “Do you have anything in black or brown that’d look good on a lawyer?”
“Sure,” says Sully, “How about a Doberman?”
Bill turns on his heel and walks out—I’m sure he won’t be back. I don’t blame him.
I’ve been sheriff in this one-horse town for five years and I’m also getting fed up with Sully and his Walker, Texas Ranger jokes. Okay, I do look a bit like Chuck Norris, but Sully looks like a shrivelled up Yule Brenner—do I clap my arm to my chest and utter, “So let it be written, so let it be done?” —No way. I treat him with respect.
That’s why I charged Sully the other day. Yup, laid a charge under title 14, section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations. You don’t know what that is? Well, the law states, no citizen is allowed to have contact with an extraterrestrial or their vehicle. That’s right—it’s an actual federal ordinance implemented on July 16, 1969. It was a case of charge Sully or commit him for psychiatric evaluation and I chose the less harmful of the two options.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Maybe I should start at the beginning, the day Abe Clemons showed up in town.
Abe was an old school chum of Sully’s and it seems when they both got together, it was murder. Sully’s wife laid down the law and Sully had to choose between Abe or her. Some folks were surprised Sully chose her, but when Betty went home to be with the Lord last spring, word finally got back to Abe and he shows up wanting to take up where he and Sully left off twenty years before—raising hell and annoying everyone in ear shot.
They both got roaring drunk that night and then Abe talked Sully into going spelunking—that’s what they planned to do before Betty lay down the law and sent Abe packing. They were planning to go up on Pine Ridge and explore some of the caves up there. So, the next day being Sunday, Sully took full advantage of the Sabbath rest and set off with Abe on their great adventure.
The way Sully told it later, they drove his SUV to the conservation area just outside of town, broke out their gear and backpacked it from there. It was a beautiful mid October day and the leaves were turning and the air was crisp. What more could you ask for on a sunshiny day, but somewhere to go and something to do?
They hiked to the base of the cliffs and then began the arduous task of picking their way along ledges and half-washed out trails until they got about half way up. They rested for a while lit a fire and ate some lunch. Then Abe decided to explore along that level while Sully was eager to press on toward the top. They synchronized their watches and agreed to meet back at the camp in an hour and decide which caves to explore.
An hour later, Sully was back at the camp, tired and sore, having found nothing, but Abe was waiting, eager to show him a huge opening he found hidden behind some brush. They took their gear and started out. Sure enough, about twenty minutes later, Abe gave a whoop and pointed to a narrow fissure in the rocks.
Sully shone his flashlight into the opening and saw it widened into a large passageway. He slid into the opening and Abe followed close behind. The cave passageway sloped downward and they began following it, convinced it would end after a few meters, but the further they went, the longer the passageway extended.
After ten minutes of walking the passageway gave no indication of ending.
“I feel like we’re in Jules Verne’s Journey to the Center of the Earth.” Abe shouted back to Sully.
Sully chuckled. “Well, Professor, you better watch your step or you may plunge down a huge gorge.”
“How far do you think this passageway goes?” asked Abe shining his light on the limestone walls and ceiling.
“Let’ hope it doesn’t go to China—the batteries in these flashlights won’t last that long.”
They walked on into the darkness and continued on another fifteen minutes, until they came to the end. Ahead of them, the path simply fell away like the edge of a cliff.
“Good thing you kept that light trained on the ground,” Sully said, shivering at the thought of plunging into some bottomless abyss. “Can you see anything down there?”
Abe shone his light down, but it only penetrated a short way.
“Battery must be getting a bit weak—but, I think I can make out something down there.”
Sully strained to see into the darkness, but he was a bit near sighted.
Abe gave a shout. “Hey, there’s a ledge and a trail—we can follow it and go down a bit lower.”
He led the way and Sully followed and they continued down for several minutes before reaching another dead end.
“Try your light down there,” Sully shouted.
Abe trained his beam down the wall to the floor of the cave—it was a drop of only four feet.
“How about that?” laughed Abe. “C’mon, we can drop down and explore a bit.”
He jumped down and waited for Sully to follow. They then began to play the light along the ground and walls until Abe clutched Sully’s arm tight. “What the hell?”
Sully pointed his flashlight beam in the same direction and felt his hear stop. About fifty feet ahead of them was a metallic wedge-shaped craft resting on the cave floor.