And a delicate face, and could strut about Town!" —
"My dear — a girl, such as you be,
Can’t quite expect that. You aren't ruined," said she.
—Thomas Hardy, The Ruined Maid
Tarnished
Lecturing about Tess of the d'Urbervilles had intensified my awareness of the Victorian double standard and the exploitation of women.
In that era, it didn't take much for a woman to be regarded as fallen—she may have been raped and innocent but slandered, or merely educated, eccentric or elusive.
If she were beautiful and attracted the male gaze that might have been sufficient to garner her a reputation.
There was no label for fallen men. The irony was sickening.
The fact that my stalker included me in the ranks of exploitative men totally depressed me. I had been no angel in the past but had never used women, aside from my one affair with Sofia Lopez, who admitted to me she had sought me out and seduced me.
My one regret in that sordid incident was that I had lied to Clare Rodgers in an attempt to conceal my infidelity.
And now, here I am, having to teach a Victorian novel dealing with women's fallenness when the focus should have been on male sinfulness.
So, Sofia's confession didn't really liberate me but just reminded me of my own past moral failure and my inability to make amends.
I suppose Silas, my Jungian shrink, would perceive a cynical aspect in that synchronicity.
While I was musing about my past and my relationships with women, Matt Baker showed up at my door.
"Looks like we're back in the deep freeze," he said shivering, taking off his snow boots just inside the front door.
"I'll make coffee. Have you got any news about the investigation?"
"Looks like we're going to have to release Jana McPherson. She's a person of interest but we don't have enough evidence to charge her."
"I still think she's innocent—hell, she's a victim, Matt. I think Sarah's barking up the wrong tree."
"She is beautiful, " Matt smiled.
"Hey, that's got nothing to do with my opinion. I've seen this girl terrified by the stalker. No way she's involved."
"Maybe she's involved with you."
"What makes you say that—Sarah?"
""No, Sarah has been quite laid back about this girl. I'm going by what she told me about how much she admires you and wishes she could stay in your lecture."
"Yeah, well that's not exactly flames of passion."
"No, but I didn't expect her to reveal that—but there are definitely sparks and smouldering embers—just saying what I've observed."
"Yeah well, you're the crime analyst. I guess I have to defer to you."
"So, I guess we're back to square one?" I asked, eager to change the subject.
"I didn't say that. We're charging Max Leonard with assault based on Jana's testimony. She claims he's the one who attacked her and we have video evidence of him outside her building."
I immediately brightened. "That's great! He's probably the stalker. I knew Jana was innocent."
Matt just shook his head. "At this point I wouldn't declare her innocent—just not guilty, from what we can determine from our investigation."
"Same difference, in my humble opinion," I chirped.
"Don't be so chipper, my friend, we're still keeping an eye on her—and you better make sure you're not even gazing from afar—the girl's trouble, in my opinion. And that's based on my profile."
I didn't want to protest too much but I was glad Jana would be free. Maybe I was flattered that a girl as young and attractive as Jana had an interest in me—and if that was biased, then consider me guilty