but she still haunts me
Out of Synch
I intended to console Amanda but ended up kissing her—this was not what I intended and it turned my world completely upside down.
Hell, we were sitting in her stealth police vehicle, outside Charlotte’s office, necking as if parked in a lovers lane.
I don’t know who was more shocked and upset—me or Amanda.
“I’m so sorry, Blake,” she apologized, “I don’t know what made me do that.”
“It’s not your fault—I thought I initiated it. This whole business is so confusing we’re reverting to instinct.”
I regretted the words as soon as I said them.
“There is a bond between us,” she whispered, “we both feel drawn together and this time neither of us could resist it.”
“Do you recall how this worked out in the past, between you and Brad?”
She shook her head, “No, I only have fragmentary images and chaotic dreams—but you’re in them—you always have been.”
“I think that’s a good reason why you should consider Charlotte’s offer.”
Her eyes grew huge, “You mean be hypnotized and regressed to my past life—do you know how terrifying that would be for me?”
I went silent.
She had no idea how toxic her relationship with Brad had been and it certainly didn’t bode well for her to be mixed up with me either.
But how could I tell her how tragically her past life ended? That wasn’t up to me. It was her decision whether or not to pull back the curtain.
I certainly wasn’t going to be the harbinger of that kind of bad news. She wasn’t going to learn about her tragic fate from me.
”It’s up to you, Amanda, whether or not you try to peer behind the veil, but I don’t blame you if you don’t. I’m not sure I could do it either.”
She stared at me with sad eyes, “So, where does that leave us?”
“I think you need to continue your investigation and find out what you can about Kath. You were a rival of hers in the past and that’s the basis of your relationship with me now. We need to maintain some distance between us rather than add another complication.”
Her eyes flashed. “Is that how you see me—as a complication?”
“I didn’t mean it like that. In my dreams, our relationship was tumultuous, but that’s my point of view. You have to decide for yourself. Maybe over time things will become clearer and you may recall more of this past existence.”
“So, you won’t tell me what you know?”
I shook my head. “As I said, it’s my experience. You have to discover for yourself details of your own past life.”
She angrily started the car. “You know, Prof, I’m beginning to regret ever getting involved with this case.”
I understood how she felt, but I certainly didn’t want to act like a prophet of doom and tell her how she died leaping off a cliff…
Especially since I wasn’t sure if the cause was Brad or me. Either way, our relationship seems flawed—we’re impossible together.
Our stars don’t align.