They say paranoia strikes deep―that's not the half of it―it's paralyzing.
After my gaffe during question period at my lecture, I knew the rumour mill would start churning but had no idea how fast.
When I returned to my office after lunch, there was a note asking me to phone the Varsity newspaper and several messages on my answering machine.
The next step would be inevitable―they'd be knocking at my door or waiting outside my lecture hall asking for an interview or at the very least for a comment.
In academia, controversy is anathema. I really stirred up a hornet's nest.
I phoned Lise immediately to give her a heads up.
"I already know, Barnaby," she said, "I overheard two of our lab assistants talking about it."
"I'm so sorry, Lise, but I wanted to assure you it had nothing to do with our conversations―it was a general discussion about the possibility of an advanced civilization existing before us. I'd have to give you the full context though to explain this."
"Why don't you swing by my lab at 4 pm and we'll go for drinks, preferably off campus? You can tell me then."
"Sounds good, I'll see you then."
I put down my cell and took a deep breath. She hadn't disowned me yet, but what I had done was stupid. I felt like hitting myself in the head with the paperweight on my desk.
Talk about drawing attention to myself―how could I have been so reckless?
But musing about my loose lips wasn't going to remedy the situation. I was feeling a ton of self-recrimination for possibly attracting attention to Lise and me and that connection could spell danger for both of us.
I checked the clock―it was just past two. I grabbed my addidas bag and headed to the Hart House Gym to run laps and sweat out my anxiety.
Nobody would look for me there.
Two hours later after working out, showering and changing into jeans and sweatshirt, I showed up at Lise's lab.
"Is this casual Wednesday?" she teased.
"I needed a place to hide so I went to the gym."
"The casual look suits you, Barnaby. I was going to suggest the Rooftop bar at the Park Hotel--it'll be deserted at this hour."
I nodded. "Good choice. I'm double-parked outside, so we can make a fast get away."
"I'm beginning to like this side of you," she purred.
I was thinking the same. My adrenaline was pumping and I was more alive than I had felt in months.
I quickly checked the road outside and no one was in sight, so I motioned for Lise to follow me out.
In minutes we were in my SUV and speeding away from the university grounds. But just as I was mentally congratulating myself on a quick getaway, I noticed a black car tailing us and recognized it as one that followed me when I went to Lise's lab.
I felt a tingling sensation at the nape of my neck and it spread icy tentacles down my spine.
I suddenly felt vulnerable as if unseen eyes were boring into my skull invading the last bit of privacy I had left.
