After my conversation with Lise in the campus pub, I went home that night in a daze.
I've been exposed over time to all the conspiracy myths about the alien presence, but all those articles, interviews and news reports were sadly lacking one thing―tangible, factual evidence.
And now it seems the government itself is fuelling the controversy by what some term a soft disclosure about UAP's. But there's a world of difference between a flying tic tac and an actual alien body with a complete genome of its DNA.
When this news finally breaks, and it inevitably will, there will be great angst among the population, but that's to be expected―shocking revelations have repercussions, but it's far superior to dealing with it than denying and covering it up.
Lise was about as forthright as she could be in dealing with top secret information―I had no need to know, so she could be jailed or worse.
If I thought about it, I'm in a more precarious place than she―they need her for the research―I'm someone who knows too much and am expendable.
Lise asked if I'd be available for more conferences and I readily agreed, but I'm beginning to doubt the wisdom of that now.
Yeah, I'm not exactly the hero of this tale―more an anti-hero more concerned about covering my own tail.
I spent the night before the fire and though there was wind and sleet outside, the fire gave me no warmth and only made me long for a simpler time...
I longed for a time when a fire drew storytellers with tales of myths and heroes, not fearful academics cowering out of cowardice and sheer terror.
I got up the following morning, more tired than when I went to bed.
It's amazing how a great fear drives out lesser worries―like Vanity Edwards. The mood I was in today, I couldn't imagine a beautiful woman wanting me and that made me fearful that i'd cling to any interest on her part that proved I was still a man.
Sure enough, like the climax after the rising action, Vanity dropped by my table in the Grill.
She looked so beautiful in a soft red mohair sweater and matching lipstick that her beauty hurt my eyes―she looked that irresistible.
And yes, I wanted to lose myself in the trivia of a campus romance and the drama that would ensue rather than face the fact that I was an average man staring at a cosmic challenge and ran.
But tempting as Vanity was, my pride wouldn't let me give in. I knew she's be in my dreams that night, but I resisted her flirtatious whims and kept it all impersonal...so bland and damnably professional, she finally gave up.
I didn't feel better, but didn't feel worse. I still had some shred of honour that wouldn't allow me to abandon Lise to face this situation alone.
Ironically the end of lecture discussion this morning centred around the possibility of previous advanced civilizations and whether we could presume an earlier technological civilization would be populated by people much like us.
I responded by quoting a line from the book, The Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk.
"In a long enough timeline the survival rate for everything drops to zero. There's no reason why an advanced civilization may have existed and could have gone extinct thousands of years before us."
That remark spurred Vanity to ask, "But if they were technologically as advanced as us, wouldn't they have looked like us?"
"Not necessarily," I answered, "they could have looked like lizard people―our concept of aliens."
The class went silent and I knew I had said too much. The lecture would be the subject of lunch table gossip and maybe even find its way into The Varsity, the university newspaper.
Why didn't I shut my mouth? I reprimanded myself, but I spilled too much.
This saucer I tipped myself.
