I've been in bad shape especially the past 20 years, 35 now.
Mild autism and bi-polar with a nerve disorder has made things unbearable and I don't have a single friend. And the one medication that stops most of the pain and clears my mind is cannabis and the kind I had didn't even cause a high. I'm tired of pills. Over 20 prescriptions and none of them worked. I've been a lab rat for their profit.
I don't want to die (NOT suicidal), I just don't want to live like this anymore. I'm half a retard though and have no clue what to do or what I want.
I have over 100 scars and burns all over me. I can't have any people to talk to because I have a shield of fear all around me and I can't even look people in the eye. I hate myself so much. Things are just going to get worse.
