To say that I am angry is an understatement. I made my way to church as usual after lunch, and sat in my usual spot, hoping to steal a few moments of prayer before the service starts.
Then this Aunty who thinks she is very fashionable waddles up and laughs at me for being a "tai tai" (in Chinese, it connotes a wife of a very rich man who does nothing but have high teas and manicures the whole day).
Speechless, I stared in shock at this entirely unprovoked statement. I am not close to this Aunty and haven't conversed with her in months.
At my lack of response, she went on ridiculing, "usually most ladies stay at home after the kid is born. But yours is immediate after marriage. So what do you do all day? Hang up the clothes?"
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All this just for MY personal life decision to not stress before conception (preparation for conception - pre-conception - is just as vital as what I do during pregnancy, in my opinion).
Firstly, what has MY personal life decision to do with you?
Secondly, if I really was a tai tai, then I would have maids and butlers to cater to my every whim, won't I?
But no, my husband is not a millionaire and accepting a salary far below his capability to sacrificially serve in the church.
Sometimes I wonder if it is even worth it to serve all these ungrateful people.
It repulses me that even in a semi-traditional church, I have no choice to buckle the conventional route of being a career woman.
Am I not allowed to choose what is best for me, my husband and my family without any ridicule or slander?
Lastly, even if you disagree with MY personal life decision, who are you to comment directly in my face? My decision has no bearing upon you.
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I wrote the above yesterday, but did not get around to posting it as I fell into a fitful sleep.
M has to constantly remind me that haters gotta hate, and that I shouldn't be affected by what others perceive about me.
"So what if they think you're lazy and unmotivated? You and I both know that it isn't true. That's not you."
I agree. She doesn't know any whit about what I'm actually doing in my life (including taking up further studies next month). It's just that I'm such a huge believer in personal autonomy.
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Can we just be RESPECTFUL and COURTEOUS of each other's life choices?
I don't have to agree with what you choose, but that is your life and I have no right to comment or dictate what you should or should not do with your life.
Likewise, I hope I am extended that same basic respect and courtesy.
Wouldn't it be a MUCH better world to live in? Wouldn't you agree? (:
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Photo Credits: Marcos Paulo Prado, Unsplash
