WELCOME TO OATMEAL JOEY ARNOLD
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Fake Oatmeal
Oatmeal Daily - 2023-12-27 - Wednesday | Published in December of 2023
BY OATMEAL JOEY ARNOLD
ARTICLES | DIRECTORY | TIMELINE | TOPICS
1985
I'm not an alien. That's fake news. I was born in the year 1985 in the state of Oregon. But I might have thought I was an alien at least for a second because my siblings like said they could not understand me in the 1980s/1990s.
1986
I'm not too retarded. I might have some birth defects. But we all got problems. People weaponize autism in an attempt to discredit competing/alternative voices. But why not listen to each other? I might have some problems. But you might have other problems. In math, the two factors cancel each other out as in one minus one equals zero or one issue can cancel out another issue meaning we need each other.
1987
No I can't jump fifty feet high, I'm not Superman.
1988
Family didn't try to drown me in Seattle. Nobody tried to murder me when that vehicle hit my mom. Actually, my brother saved my life.
1989
No I'm not a crayon coloring master and wasn't staying within the lines.
1990
No I wasn't only eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, I also enjoyed spaghetti. The 1990s, decade in review. No, I didn't wet the bed, pee in my sleep, all the time. Only like the day my younger sister was being born and other times too. Probably stopped wetting the bed by age ten.
1991
No I wasn't learning how to ride my bike myself, my older siblings helped. Wasn't trying to hurt myself, the cooler was just too heavy causing it to slam hands into the metal truck bed which gave me a scar.
1992
I didn't murder LEGO Fred Dead from across the street, we only prayed he died and like the next day there was a yard sale and thank God he was dead as he only gave us like a nickel for yard work, cutting grass. I was excited because we got his legos.
1993
I was not kidnapped at Hagg Lake. I was lost or was actually walking home. A family picked me up. They took me to their house. I watched Turtles 3 until my family/neighbors came in like a truck to pick me up.
1994
No I didn't praise the murder of lions in the Lion King, I grew up with cats, I'm an animal lover. I like dogs too. But I'm mostly a cat person. I'm against animal violence but especially human violence.
1995
No I wasn't exactly trying to steal Tiffany Cumbo from Bill Bailey or other boys, but I did feel like I had her first going back to like at least the early 1990s if not earlier. We have photos of her in 1992. So, first met before that I think. But we were mostly just friends minus maybe a few times. But I could be wrong about that. But there were times I liked her. But I didn't pursue her for the most part minus a few times when I did try very briefly in my own way in the 1990s. I didn't attempt to pursue her in the 2000s and then she died in 2003 and I felt guilty as I had the urge to call her the night she died. I had a strange feeling on that day, like a sixth sense kind of thing and I didn't go with my gut. I suppressed what my heart was trying to tell me.
1996
No kids were harmed in the making of the Power Rangers Kids movie and I was one of the kids in it at the age of ten.
1997
I'm not gay or ghey, I just enjoyed spending time playing video games and hanging out with my male friends like Bill Bailey especially at his grandma's house in North Plains. I'm not a Jedi but fell in love with Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: The Special Edition which came out in theaters that year. Didn't murder Puffer Cat in 1997 or whatever year it was, that was Bill I swear. Not your Bill. My Bill. I mean not my Bill. The Bill of Mars.
1998
I did not trap myself in a reality television show in 1998 but Jim Carrey starred in The Truman Show as a man stuck on TV. His whole life was filmed similar to how most people live online in 2023. Basketball.
1999
I wasn't abandoning my love for Nintendo's Mario in 1999, I was just impressed when playing Sonic on Sega's Dreamcast. I wasn't a hardcore SJW NPC leftist but was acting pretty entitled as I begged my dad for money. Technically, he would gamble and drink away all his money most of the time. So, I thought it would be better in my hands as I would not waste the money like he would. I was thinking I would be more responsible with the money.
2000
I didn't like break my camcorder on purpose, I was trying to write my name in it.
2001
I was not in New York in 2001, that was actually Big Red Dog Mickey Morehead of Gangster Run who is a fictional character who was starting trouble in that neighborhood like a white Will Smith, the Prince of Bel-Air.
2002
Didn't have cancer in 2002 that I knew of but Mandy Moore played this beloved girl in A Walk To Remember where she, spoiler alert, dies in the movie.
2003
I didn't murder Cum/Tiffany Cumbo but was going to call her the night before she died. I felt guilty about that, she was my favorite female friend from the 1990s.
2004
I didn't do anything bad to Sonya Mack, that's fake news.
2005
I didn't lose my campers at Snow Camp up a hill, they eventually came down in sleds, this happened in 2005 and/or 2006 which were the two years I was a counselor at that camp at WOLBI in New York which was the first college I attended.
2006
Didn't really take the full red pill in 2006 but Neo did in The Matrix trilogy which I saw for the first time that year in South Carolina. Didn't take the red pill in 2006 but did ten years later in 2016.
2007
I didn't do anything to Jennifer Moore at ABC, that's fake news.
2008
I didn't murder Woof/Dick. I wasn't trying to get fired from the YMCA in Hawaii.
2009
I didn't commit crimes in Texas as I didn't even live in Texas in 2009, that's fake news my trolls spread in 2023 in my Discord Server regarding somebody else with my name which many people have my name. I didn't become a woman or a baby in a diaper with a spaceman. No animals were harmed in the making of my Animals Are Dying music video in PDX. I wasn't trying to sell my soul to the Devil when I auditioned for a show. I was not hitting on iJustine.
2010
I didn't murder Blake Webb but did fail to check on him as I was sleeping on the couch in the basement a few feet from his room. Moore Street pastor said Blake had like smaller heart attacks, as in cardiac arrests, in his sleep before and that it kept on getting worse until it eventually killed him or at least that is what I was told. I wrote an article saying I killed Blake but it was a fake article headline title. I went on to explain how I felt guilty I was not able to resurrect Blake as I tried giving him CPR and mouth to mouth.
I didn't do anything to Farmer Hanna at Camp Redwood Glen of the Salvation Army in California except write her a long letter saying I liked her. I sent the letter to her but not sure if she ever got it.
2011
I didn't murder Bill. Not your Bill. My Bill. Wait. No. Not my Bill. Not your Bill. The other Bill.
2012
I didn't assault Robin Baker, that's fake news spread by Flopper in 2022 on Discord, I grabbed her phone to prevent her from prank calling 911 which might be illegal. Cops said what I did was a federal crime while ignoring the crimes she committed. My lawyer said the federal charge would be dropped if I pleaded guilty to sexual harassment or whatever the exact wording was which I was not guilty of. I ended up taking that alleged plea deal or at least that is what I was told to do. So, I eventually did just that.
2013
I didn't do anything bad to Hanoi Anna, that's fake news. I didn't steal bikes from Vietnam Kathy, instead she stole mine.
2014
I'm not a pedo, that's fake news which was being spammed on Craigslist and on the Another side of Vietnam (ASOV) group on Facebook especially in 2014 and beyond, fake news was also spread to other Facebook groups too and other websites too. I didn't molest the female cashier at Circle K or steal food, that's fake news. I didn't do anything too destructive at the Leaf Pagoda, Remi Cafe, or Mr. Ribs.
2015
I didn't do anything to Lego Mark or Old Ink, that's fake news.
2016
I didn't do bad things to Anna Barbie and Zizi and Loan, that's fake news. They might have stolen money from me perhaps or they thought it was ok to waste it on eating at restaurants and stuff even as we talked about trying to fix my passport and visa problems which we were actively engaged in for months.
2017
I didn't do bad things in Vietnam and then run off to America, no that's fake news.
2018
I didn't murder my dad and run off to another state, that's fake news.
2019
I don't try to get banned off social media, that's fake news. In 2019, he might have said or questioned if I was really permanently banned off the Infowars community forum website Infocomms and I was trying to say yes I was, I felt like he was lying, was being silly, misguided, missing the point, or even just way out of it.
2020
Rob Roy was a Scottish outlaw and folk hero. His adventures were immortalized and romanticized by the author Sir Walter Scott in his novel Rob Roy. He wrote in the yellow: "Got user bans? TOS comprehension is critical." Also, he wrote: "Spamming may be your online foundation. Got a job? And/or other source of income? On YouTube 24/7?" I took all that as an insult.
2021
I wasn't ignoring Roy Merrick, that's fake news, it's more that I was busy and stuff. In 2021, Roy Merrick might have said he sent me tickets so I could see South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone's The Book of Mormon. Mostly in YouTube comments, I was going back and forth with Roy about it forever. He might have said he sent me tickets or tried to. I'm not totally sure what he was trying to say. Perhaps he was trying to say he sent tickets to the wrong address or that he was hoping I would want to go so he could send me the tickets to the Mormons play. I thought he wanted to go with me to see the play. He might have said I could take anybody I wanted to go with me and not him. But I just felt like he was implying he wanted to go with me just in the way he would say things.
2022
I didn't send nudes to people on Snapchat, that's fake news, I posted content on my Snapchat video channel. Snapchat is like Facebook/YouTube.
I didn't do Jan6, I said no violence please.
People went to my Snapchat account/page/wall and grabbed my content and posted/share them in messenger-like conversation DM groups which I was added to some or all of them. I was adding hundreds or thousands of anonymous people especially in 2022. I had no idea who I added. This is what I have been doing since like 1997. I would add everybody and say hi to everybody. I sent hundreds or thousands of messages saying hi to random people. Later on, the Snapchat content ended up on Discord. Roy turned a photo into a GIF meme which people said that must be a video of me but it came from a photo. You can ask Roy about that.
2023
Regarding my Discord Demands.
I'm not a pedo, that's fake news spread by my Discord Server Lolcow Trolls especially during the summer of 2023 by villains like Yung Savy who might also be Luke Daniel. I don't have bombs, that's fake news spread by my Discord Server Lolcow Trolls like possibly the XBK gang. Saw, Socks, Geraldy Jones, Beast Gaming or whatever his group was called, and/or Creamville, etc.
