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11:48 AM

Alex Jones said this Charlie Kirk book is fake, seems like Erika Kirk and TPUSA is hijacking Charlie's identity to beg Americans to continue sending money to Israel which is what we've been doing for like 70 years now. Christians are taught to send money to Israel.

09:27 PM
One of my problems is in not trusting God fully. That is ironic mystic. I mean, that is odd. That makes me a hypocrite. As I listen to Glenn Beck talk to the PragerU woman about how he discovered the meaning of life at the age of like 62, I was thinking about how I kept busy in my life doing stuff. I talked about some of this before. Don't get me wrong, I feel like I try to make a difference in the world in what I do. I've admitted that how I went about it was at least problematic or even counterproductive sometimes. My excuses for doing stuff might even include the notion of something is better than nothing or even how the ends justifies the means. With all that said, it's tough to talk about as I have mixed feelings about my life and the stuff I do as I've felt both tales of success and failure all wrapped into one roller coaster crashing into a blender of truth and fiction as I've felt it's at least sometimes tough to know the line between right and wrong. I mean, on a general level, it can be easy to know that like stealing and murder is bad. But specific things can be harder when there is added nuance and context. That's why I prefer to think through the lens of not is it good or bad but rather is it the best as the leading question. I keep busy but perhaps too busy sometimes. I was also seeing myself like Jeff delivering this message. I know different people named Jeff including the one from Saturday night and also Jeff Walters of the Salvation Army. They both are good speakers. There are two kinds of people. People who work too much and those who.... where they go, you can hardly find. Hang with who you want. But it is critical to network with the opposite and say like Tom Cruise did that the other half completes you. I do not trust God at least at times in that I see myself as a failure and I hit the rock twice so to speak. My prayer is to find lazy people who can work for me as they are less busy. My prayer is to seek trust to seek after peace as opposed to simply taking the easy way out.

Remembering names
10:42 PM

I could not remember her name. I went through the alphabet. I said random names. A is for Amy. Is it Amy? No. Becky? No. Carrie? No. Diane? No. As soon as I got to M, my mind went to Monica and I said yes. Interesting how I knew what the name was not. As soon as I heard the right name, I remembered the person I forgot. I knew her name. I forgot it. This game helped me.