It has been a while since I posted, but there are reasons for that. In October, I had the first of two minor strokes. It left me with some stuttering, aphasia, weakness in my left leg, and an overall lack of energy to do anything. Within a month, we moved to our new home, which, as you might think, was a challenge considering the fact, I was still using a cane at the time. Luckily, we had the funds to pay a moving company. So, 2020 made sure it ended with a bang.
Fast forward to January, and I had another minor stroke, ensuring that 2021 started much like its cousin 2020. It did not have any lasting side effects beyond the first stroke. I still struggle with some of the same symptoms from the first through and sometimes lose my train of thought, which is why I find writing so difficult these days and have not posted recently.
What used to take me an hour or two to write a post now can take a day or more of constant struggle and frustration. For instance, I have been working on these first two paragraphs for at least an hour or more. Constantly deleting and retyping to make sure they are coherent and reflect what I am thinking.
So what would I tell myself about 2020?
First, I would tell myself it is time to stop thinking about getting healthier and doing it. My life and family depend on it. I need to start moving, get out of my office chair, walk around, do some yoga, stop stressing and meditate on morning devotionals, and take a trip to a park with the dog. Stop eating stuff that can be microwaved and eat fresh fruits and veggies and white meats. You deserve to treat your body with respect.
Second, I would warn myself about trying to start my IT Policy and Governance consulting business. Many businesses accelerated their digital transformation due to increased remote work, resulting in budgets blown and pennies being pinched. There was no room for consultants on policy and service management when they need enterprise WebEx or Zoom solutions right now.
Third, I would prepare myself more for my Doctoral work. This is a very time-consuming endeavor and requires a realignment of life’s priorities. Trying to burn the candle at both ends with work, starting a business, and working on a doctorate was most likely a large contributor to my current health challenges.
All that said, 2020 was a long hard lesson in limitations. I stretched myself to the limits mentally and physically and broke both. 2021 will be a much more measured year in which I pace myself physically and mentally back into shape over the long haul, with no quick fixes or miracle solutions. I feel Hive will be part of the healing that helps get me back into the swing of things. I am not sure how often I will post, or if it will be as often as I used to, but I feel it is part of my therapy. Even writing this seems to have helped in some way.
Thank you, 
#backtothehive #mein2019
