In my previous post here and here I recounted the story and lessons from my time as a business owner. This post will look at recovering from a major life setback.
Source: pixabay
At first glance, having a major setback in your life feels like this. "I have Failed" "I've stuffed up" are very negative ways to view this. In my situation, I spent years after my business failure "beating myself up". Blaming myself for everything, and looking backwards instead of forwards. This affected my life as much as the financial setback. It slowed my career progress and my ability at work. I always doubted my abilities and struggled with a fear of failure.
The other solution I tried was to blame everyone else or anything but yourself. I spent a period of time doing this - finding 500 excuses and reasons why the business went bad, and none of them were my fault. This doesn't work either.
In time, I have come to terms with what happened, and gained a lot of persepctive. Blaming yourself doesn't help, blaming others, or circumstances, or whatever doesn't help. The best way to move forward is to just bloody get over it. Easier said than done, but to take the emotion out of the situation is the ideal way to move on. "So, the business failed, big deal, get over it."
I have come to be proud of the fact that I had a go. It didn't work out, but I tried. I wish I had not been so hard on myself at the time, many people don't take that leap out of their comfort zone and have a crack. I have seen and heard many motivational speakers say things along the lines of "it is better to reflect on things you have done, then regret things you didn't do" That isn't a direct quote of anyone (that I know of), just my paraphrasing of a common message. It is so true. Have a go - give it your all. If it doesn't work out, learn the lessons and move on.
All this is easier said than done. Our internal conversations - our mind can go places that are unhelpful. It took me many years to get to a place of acceptance. The lessons learnt from trying something are invaluable. The key is to assess what happened logically, and critically - But not emotionally. As soon as you let emotions in, the battle scars pop up and the doubts and self esteem issues flare up.
Source: pixabay
I'll wrap it up with this picture - taking emotion out of the analysis of your setback will break the chains holding you back and set you free. Free to dream, and create and build something new. Free to go on to bigger and better things. Emotions are fantastic - but sometimes they can get in the way.
Thanks for reading, have a great day.
John.
