“If you didn’t always act like you needed to carry the whole world on your shoulders, maybe this wouldn’t have happened to you,” Fave said as she stood over my crouched and heaving form.
I gave her what is called the bombastic side-eye. At least I tried to. I couldn’t do much because of my crouched position and also because I was panting at that moment. I knew she was right but I hated it regardless. I’m known to be more receptive to people’s opinions but somehow her statement irked me. Maybe it’s cause I didn’t like that it was she in particular who was telling me when I knew she had this specific habit or because I knew what she was saying was the God-honest truth.
It’s something I’ve always prided myself in when it comes to womanhood. The fact that we are quite skilled at multitasking. That ability to juggle many things, physically and mentally was something I found astounding and I ensured that I utilized this innate trait to the best of my ability. But even I knew that the danger of possessing this ability as a woman is the tendency to neglect the fact that we are not immortal nor invincible. We are not elastic and no matter how hard we think we can stretch ourselves, eventually, we will snap. In all possible ways.
But does that stop us?
Of course not. It’s something I say to myself, “You’re tired Tess, but you can study a bit more, or do one more chore, or take one more step.” And of course, because I believe that nothing is beyond my reach, I do it and then it occurs to me that I can do even more. And so I do one more and then one more, without breaks or anything. And eventually, since I can’t be the physical or mental “Elast girl” no matter how much I wish I was, I break.
That’s what happened to me on the day of the conversation in the beginning of this post. It was an exam day and I’d pulled out all the stops the previous week. No proper feeding let alone rest. And when I saw the black spots swim hard and fast behind my eyes in the middle of the exams, I knew I was doomed.
All these to answer 
What do you do when you feel exhausted? How do you regulate your physical, mental and emotional state to be yourself again?
Since that fateful day, I went into a self-awakening session where I called myself out on all the things I was doing wrong to my mind and my body. One thing you should know about doing this is that there is a way higher chance of you listening to you than any other person. So, I told myself to stop ignoring the signs my body gave me to take a break.
Because that’s what happens. Our body gives us signs and if you’re the wannabe workaholic like me who seeks to always prove something to herself, you pretend like you don’t see. Or you don’t feel.
Sometimes I ask myself why I intentionally deprive myself of this when it’s something that genuinely brings me joy. There’s nothing that clears a bad mood, stress, feeling of helplessness etc, like good food in front of me. Eating brings me peace. I finish eating and I’m back to feeling like myself. And that’s the truth. The haze over my eye clears, the insistent pain in my stomach begins to subside, and the sky feels clearer. No greater stress-relieving therapy.
Before you roll your eyes, listen to me. Lol. I’m not about to launch into some benefits of drinking water because that’s not what motivates me to drink it. It’s the sublime feeling as it goes down my throat. The peace in the taste. It’s weird the kind of pleasure I find in drinking water and if it’s an addiction, I’m glad it’s a kind that won’t cause me harm, except the fact that I have to use the bathroom every thirty minutes. I heard of something you need to add to the water to prevent yourself from needing to go that many times but frankly, I’m not so keen on anything that would change its original taste.
I know you thought I’d forget these two but I don’t know how life would be if I didn’t find this much happiness in reading novels and sleeping. Putting them together cause it sort of works hand in hand for me. I take a good shower. I snack on something a bit to prevent the frequent belly complaints the ulcer subjects it to. And then I read a good book. Some witty rom-com or an even more scintillating crime novel. And then I sleep. A long, dream-filled sleep. All is well with the world at that moment and for a long time afterwards.
Shout out to all my hardworking ladies(and gents) out there. Let’s work but let’s learn to take breaks too!
Image is mine.
