I would start by saying that when I saw this prompt, I smiled. Mainly because whoever must have written had it in for me in some way though I know that it’s possible. But most times you find topics that either relate to what you may have reasoned recently or at least, what has crossed your mind at some point.
And I’ll move on to what most of us already know which is the biological aspect of this whole thing. I’m a lady so I can speak for myself and maybe a lot more ladies when I say that growing up, we all knew that the guys our age weren’t just it. I’ll narrow it to me, personally. I did have a lot of male friends, crushes and potential crushes from guys in my class or my age.
But it would take one conversation. Just one and my high expectations would just crumble even as I’m still maintaining an outward smile that never reached my eyes. (They never noticed the change though. No surprise there.)
It didn’t take more than a few conversations with different guys. Little talking stages made me understand that these guys weren’t just on the same maturity level as I was. I understood that we were all adolescents but why couldn’t your thought process transcend beyond mundane things? Not everything had to go that way. Really.
It amazed me so much that I went to ask a teacher I felt I was close to. Big mistake. I did learn that it was biological and girls just matured faster, thought process included. And that I may most likely be able to resonate more if the guy was some years older. I understood that and may have told her that I’d try to have a conversation and see. I don’t think I said anything more but my name was the talk of the school for weeks. That Tess liked older guys. Immature of her if you ask me.
Anyways, I’ll not digress and just say that I saw for myself months later. I joined Facebook way later than my peers and was still trying to learn how it worked. And I started talking with this guy. We talked for days and I enjoyed conversations with him so much. I don’t even remember the things we’d been talking about. I’m sure they weren’t so deep. Just meaningful conversations.
And so, I impulsively asked how old he was and he told me. He was more than ten years older. And I was still trying to gravitate out of that teenage age. I didn’t know how to handle it. And may have freaked out and ran away, figuratively. But when I eventually got around to reflecting on this, I smiled and said that the backstabber teacher I’d talked to was correct and it just felt right and smoother communicating with older guys. And so, I ruled it as being very much normal. Whether I was labelled weird by my friends or not.
That thought process sailed a long time ago. I was rudely awakened years later as I got more mature. And though I still enjoyed and had better conversations, I’ve realized that age isn’t a sign of maturity at all. I’ve come in contact with many guys that were several years older and I was slack-jawed, LITERALLY, by the things they said and the way they reasoned generally.
I must have thought that because they were older, that automatically made them in sync with me. But obviously, that’s not the case a good number of times. I remember a time when my eyes practically glazed over with boredom as this guy rambled on. He didn’t notice that I was a few seconds from dozing off, of course. And then he was like “You’re enjoying my gist so much, you can’t even speak right?” And polite lady that I was, I said, “Of course.” He didn’t get the sarcasm. Of course.
And from there I drew my conclusions.
The crux of the matter to me is that I have taken Age as just a number to new heights. Meaning that whether you’re older or younger, it doesn’t matter as far as there’s mutual understanding between you both. Mostly, older guys may see it better but it doesn’t change the fact that you could have a deeper and more meaningful connection with someone your age. Or even younger.
Therefore, I don’t see a ten to fifteen year age gap as a taboo. I like it and don't mind it one bit. But as far as you’re happy and you have peace with whoever you’re with, age shouldn’t be a problem. Everyone is entitled to their opinions though, but that’s just the way I feel about it. Life is too short to get small-minded or overly worked up about things like this in any case.
Your thoughts, contractions and agreements alike are welcome.🤗
