I'd been on much bigger stages so my desperation to ace this one baffled me. Because of the number of spelling bee competitions I'd already competed in, I didn't bat an eye when my teacher came to inform me that I was going to debate on girl education and why it was necessary for contemporary society on Girl Child Day. It was not a competition according to her. There would be other girls presenting.
That was easy.
I started researching on Women's Day, the particular women's organization that was hosting the event, and women in general. I thought I was doing pretty well till two days before the D-day when my teacher called me to her table and explained that she wasn't being completely honest and a lot was riding on my ability to properly represent the topic and my school by extension. She said a bunch of other things that I don't quite remember now, but then she held my hand and ended with a plea. "Please, don't disappoint me."
At that moment, I felt all my preparations fly out of the window because as far as I was concerned. Now I had to put in the work. Thinking of it now, that was the wrong thing for her to put that kind of pressure on me. When my mom came to pick me up from school, I asked her in an agitated voice if we still had the special hand-ground coffee of hers.
She turned to the back and looked at me. "What do you need it for?" I didn't tell her what my teacher had said, but I told her that I was under-prepared and would need to stay the entire night preparing. My mom looked alarmed and reminded me that she'd heard me that morning and I sounded just fine. I didn't think so and she saw the disbelief on my face so she finally said that she'd make me the quantity I needed. I smiled and said thanks.
I convinced her to let me have two cups and after giving me a lecture on why the last thing I needed was to appear with bags under my eyes and slowness to my steps since it was a debate event, she gave me and made sure I left the kitchen so she could hide the ground coffee.
As soon as my family had retired for the night, I began my research in the sitting room and my rehearsals. "This wouldn't do. I need to be more agile," I thought to myself. I don't know where I got the idea that coffee was glucose or something, but the next thing I was climbing to reach the cupboard where I peeked my mom hiding it and then I got the electric kettle going on.
Long story short, by 6 am that morning, I had drunk an additional four cups. My eyes were bloodshot, and I felt like I was going to faint at any moment but I was finally ready. So, I smiled, checked around to see that I'd covered my tracks (returned the ground coffee jar to its place at the top shelf), and then I went to have a shower. The school bus was there to pick me and the other girls attending the event, including my teacher by 8 am.
I saw the look my teacher gave the moment she saw me. "Tessa, are you alright?" I gave her a tight smile and replied in the affirmative before taking my seat on the bus. "Let's do this," I muttered to myself. By the time we reached the venue, I knew that something was seriously wrong. I'm not sure if it was because of the number of girls I saw there, but I began to panic. Panic that came with shaking like I had a fever. I would learn later that I was having panic attacks, but I didn't know then.
The girls were looking at me weird, and my teacher kept asking if I was alright. I clearly was not, though. The next thing was nausea and jelly-like muscles. That's the best way I can describe it because my neck heated up like it usually would when I was going to throw up, but I didn't and my limbs had lost all function. At this point, my teacher began to panic as well. The actual event was beginning in the next hour and a half or so and I was behaving like this.
I don't remember much after that, but the next thing I saw a while later was my mom who pushed a flask to my face for me to drink. I thought my teacher had called her and was genuinely happy to see her. What she gave me tasted like green tea and after a few gulps of the warm liquid, I rushed to the bathroom and threw up violently. Afterward, my mom sat me down and gave me the food she'd brought plus plenty of water.
I looked at her eyes and while they were filled with concern, they promised retribution. I knew then that she'd found out what I'd spent the night doing. I gave her a weak smile that she didn't return but I didn't mind, I felt a whole lot better and only missed a few minutes of the start of the event. Turns out it was still a kind of competition and no, I didn't take first place, but I took second and was glad for it.
Mom was so happy; she didn't even beat me like she promised she would, but I got an earful after morning devotion on the consequences of being a disobedient child. It didn't matter though. I'd already learned my lesson.
My entry to the Spill the beans initiative.
All images are mine.
