If there’s one thing I’m known for, it would be my complete and utter abhorrence of scenes. I like to be invisible. I hate negative spotlight. Even positive spotlight affects me some type of way. I despise undue attention. In short, I like to blend in. The opposite of this (when I was in that element) cost me a great deal, so now this has become my mantra.
I avoid drama and I avoid scenes, so once I hear your voice escalating beyond room level, I walk away. I stay away from needlessly dramatic people as well. Because really, staying away from drama yet having people who constantly pull you into some form of it or the other, completely defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?
Day 20th of April Inleo, asks, “When is it good to avoid a situation?”
Now, there are reasons why I despise and stay away from scenes so much. It’s much the same as the reason why avoid situations. I start by accessing what kind of situation that is. Then, I ask myself all the things I stand to gain or lose putting myself in that situation. I dislike when people misread me, or misconstrue what I say. So, it’s usually a reflex action for me to leap to my defence. Even though a person gets a preposition I said wrong, I’m quick to correct so my meaning and intentions are displayed in the most accurate light.
But at what cost?
If I find myself about to confront a situation, I ask myself what good defending myself will be. Will I be digging a deeper hole for myself? Will the people I’m defending myself to understand? Will they be sane and rational enough to engage in a respectful argument or air out their feelings without resorting to pettiness or insults?
Because that’s one of my biggest factors on whether to get into a situation or not. How matured is the other party? I got into a whole issue with people I used to like recently. And when the issue exploded and insults after insults rained on me as I got all defensive and tried to explain, I asked myself, “What were you really thinking, Tessa?” I remembered that these were people I had to stop severally from doing some petty, rash, impulsive and irrational thing when they had squabbles with others in the past. Why did I expect them to see reason or suddenly become rational when it got to me?
I avoid situations because I think to myself of all the things that can go wrong. What if it escalates beyond something I can handle. I can never go all physical with someone no matter how enraged I am. I’d rather just walk or way or straight up cry later. So, what if I got into a situation with a silly person who decides that the best port of call is to slap me, knowing fully well I can’t slap back, because then it would become a full blown fight, and I’ll get that scene I try so hard to avoid?
So, I guess that’s all to it. It is good to avoid situations when there’s even the slightest chance that it could go awry, or if you check within yourself to realize that it won’t just be worth it. Unless, of course, you thrive on drama or you enjoy it, which would make all of this a different case entirely.
Image is mine.
